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Laurentian University's Student Newspaper 

Le journal des etudiant(e)s de TUniversite Laurentjenne 

Volume 35 - Issue 1 9 / Numero 1 9 



Some debts are fun when you are 
acquiring them, but none are fun when 
you set about retiring them. 

Ogden Nash 










SUFFERING THROUGH TUITION HIKES SINCE 1961 



Thursday, February 11 , 1997/le jeudi 27 fevrier 1997 



o^Tia Hs i L 



"^ 



Carleton Students win partial victory 



by Rachel Furey and Stu Clark 

The Ftilcrum/Nationai Office (CUP} 



When a group of angry stu- 
dents took over the president's office 
at Carleton University to protest in- 
creased tuition fees, the end result 
seemed all too predictable. 

After all, the previous two 
weeks saw angry student groups at 



three other Ontario universities take 
over their presidents' offices and all 
three groups gave up their occupa- 
tions with no discemable gains. 

But Carleton was different. 
Instead of denouncing the protestors 
- as the three other university presi- 
dents had done - Carleton president 
Richard Van Loon agreed with them 
and denounced the government. 

In an open letter to Ontario' s 
education minister John Snoblen, Van 
Loon wrote: "We must keep tuition 



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fees at a level that will ensure both 
quality and accessibility of educa- 
tion. However, the recent cuts to 
postsecondary education funding 
have severely threatened all Ontario 
Universities* ability to fulfil this man- 
date." 

The letter then asked the 
government to increase 
postsecondary education spending to 
the average level of all 10 Canadian 
provinces. Currently, Ontario spends 
less per capita on its universities and 
colleges than any other province. 

Van Loon's letter, along 
with concessions on a series of other 
student demands was enough to end 
the occupation. But the students were 
not completely victorious as the uni- 
versity will still raise tuition fees by 
10 per cent next year. 

It was a Feb. 5 government 
announcement allowing universities 
to increase tuition fees by up to 10 
per cent that sparked the protests and 
had angry students hauling their 
sleeping bags to administration build- 
ings across the province. 

Students at the University 
of Toronto began the trend when 
they took over the office of Robert 
PrichardonFeb. lO.Unlikehiscoun- 



terpart at Carleton, Prichard didn't 
negotiate with students. Instead he 
sent out a press release calling for 
deregulation of tuition fees so he could 
increase fees by more than 10 per 
cent. 

While the U of T protestors 
gave up after 97 hours, groups at 
York University and the University 
of Guelph took up the cause and took 
over their presidents' offices. But, 
like the students at U of T, they fi- 
nally gave up their occupations amidst 
threats from university administra- 
tors. 

While Van Loon didn't 
agree with the student protestors on 
the need for the tuition increase, he 
says he shares their concerns on the 
direction Ontario's government is 
taking universities. 

**We both strongly believe 
the government is close to destroying 
postsecondary education in this prov- 
ince," he said. 

*T would feel the same way 
as [students] do in their situation, but 
I have no choice but to recommend 
the [10 per cent] increase." 

While his willingness to talk 
to students might win him friends on 
campus, Van Loon could find him- 



self a very unpopular man the next 
time Ontario's university presidents 
gather together. The assorted presi- 
dents have been among the loudest 
voices demanding universities be al- 
lowed to increase tuition fees to make 
up for cutbacks in government fund- 
ing. 

That's why students have 
been occupying their president's of- 
fice instead of the provincial legisla- 
ture, says Brad Lavigne of the Cana- 
dian Federation of Students. He adds 
it is important to remind students of 
the link between cuts to the federal 
and provincial budgets and the tui- 
tion increases, especially with a fed- 
eral election only a few months away. 

"Theses protests will help 
inject a level of militancy during the 
federal election," he said adding that 
students will be demanding more 
money for universities, solutions to 
the growing student debt problem 
and a job creation plan during the 
election campaign. 

Meanwhile the protests on 
campus aren't over. Lavigne says a 
few more campuses are considering 
occupations, and their is talk of a 
province wide protest in March. 



University teaches students to haci^ 
computer system 



by Tracy E. Frauzel 

The Fulcrum (CUP) 



For University of Ottawa 
computer science students cheating 
on exams could be as easy as paying 
attention in class. 

Computer science profes- 
sor George White teaches a course 
that shows students how to obtain 
information from their local compu- 
ter networks. The course focuses on 
how to interpret codes that reveal 
information such as the origin, desti> 
nation and route of E-mail messages. 

But in the meantime stu- 
dents are also learning to use the 
same devices to track down informa- 
tion passing on the university system 
including exams and marks. 

Wajdi Feghali, a fourth year 
math and computer science student, 
is concerned about the possibility of 
students viewing course marks as 
they are transferred between admin- 
istrators and professors. 

''A student could acquire a 
piece of equipment and sniff the net- 
work, and by (using sniffers) they are 
looking at the data being transferred. 
So not only could you see the marks 
of all the students, there may be other 
sensitive information being sent by 
professors, secretaries and faculty 
members," said Feghali. 

A sniffers is a computer 
device or programs that allows a user 
to view all the information passing 
on a computer network. A computer 
on a network will only accept infor- 
mation destined for its address, but 
sniffers pull in all the information 
passing by on that network. 

Pierre Paquette, Director of 
Engineering at TimeStep Corpora- 
tion, which manufactures products 
for network security, says that sniff- 



ing is very easy without proper secu- 
rity. 

"A student studying (com- 
puter networks) would be able to 
write a sniffer within a day or two, 
and even within five days be able to 
make it so specific that it will only 
pull out information destined to a 
specific server - it's that easy." 

Students in White ' s class have access 
to sniffers and could use them to view 
E-mail messages sent by other users 
on their network. But White said 
"there are easier ways of compromis- 
ing security than that." 

"If you really wanted some- 
one's assignment and you know it's 
in the computer system somewhere, 
you get onto the disk, and there are a 
number of ways of doing that and 
(then) you get it right off the disk," 
White explains. 

Since White knows how 
easy it is to access someone else's 
files , he takes special measures to 
protect information at exam time. "I 
teach computer science students and 
I know they can get in." 

But Peter Hickey, assistant 



director of communication services 
at the U of O, is confident that the 
campus computer networks are safe 
from sniffing devices, "I'd really be 
surprised if a student in a lab can sniff 
at (information being sent by) a pro- 
fessor or secretary." 

But White said it's not only 
possible, it's done at the U of O. 

"If you have the resources 
and the stamina, you can get in. The 
thing that protects us here at the uni- 
versity is that there isn't anything 
anyone wants to know, just some 
kids out for mischief." 

Hickey contends that there 
are mechanisms in place at the U of O 
to prevent sniffing but did not want to 
describe them for security reasons. 
He said "if somebody wants to get 
marks changed, they 'd be much more 
successful to bribe someone to do it 
than they would be to go across the 
network." 

According to Racine, there 
are ways to prevent sniffing, but the 
cost of acquiring and dminisU-ating 
such a system is too expensive for 
universities to afford. 



Budget highlights 

Postsecondary education played a large role in Paul Martin's federal 
budget. Some highlights: 

-Education tax credit for full-time student will increase from $100 to 
$150 per month. They will go up to $200 per month in 1998. 
-Tuition tax credit now includes all mandatory fees charged by univer- 
sities and colleges except student association fees. 
-Students can now cany forward all unused portions of these tax credits 
to fuHire years. 

-The interest-free grace period on student loans was extended from 18 
months to three years. 

-The annual maximum contribution to Registered Education Savings 
Plans was doubled to $4,000. 

— Tlie goverrmient will create the Canadian Foundation for Innovation -- 
an independent body charged with renewing research facilities at 
postsecondary institutions and affiliated hospitals. 



LAMBDA • Volume 35 Issue 19/ Num6ro 19 



9lS¥TlOmL 



Thursday, February 27, 1997 / le jeudi 27 fevrier 1997 



Campus user fees on the rise 
across Canada 



by David-James Femandes 

The Varsity (CUP) 



Confronted by government 
imposed tuition caps and student 
backlash every time they increase 
tuition fees, university administra- 
tors across Canada are quietly impos- 
ing user-fees to cover everything from 
computer upgrades, to increased sew- 
age costs. 

It is easier to charge stu- 
dents new ancillary fees than to con- 
front the stigma attached to raising 
tuition, says Brad Lavigne, national 
chair of the Canadian Federation of 
Students. 

Administrations recognize 
there is a limit to how large a rise in 
tuition fees students will tolerate he 
says. "So they bring in ancillary fees 
to be hidden outside of tuition fees." 

Earlier this school year, the 
University of British Columbia con- 
sidered slapping a $35 levy on stu- 
dents to offset the rising costs of 
pumping UBC's sewage from its 
property. 

The fee may have gone 
through but for the intervention of 
B.C. deputy education minister Garry 
Wouters who insisted ancillary fees 
be limited to core academic activi- 
ties, and a sewage fee did not qualify. 

Although B.C. is currently 
under a tuition fee freeze, UBC's 
tally of possible levies could pump 



the cost of going to the university up 
about 1 1 per cent over this year if all 
the fees make it through. 

UBC, Carleton and vari- 
ous other universities are facing pos- 
sible * technology' enhancement 
fees. Administrators argue the fees 
are needed because students are de- 
manding access to the world wide 
web. E-mail and word-processing 
services, all of which are expensive 
to set up and maintain. 

Carleton students may face 
a fee as large as $70 to upgrade the 
school's telecommunications infra- 
structure. David Holmes, assistant 
vice-president of Carleton 's infor- 
mation resources, says he has ap- 
proached Carleton 's student coun- 
cil for money to upgrade the current 
system before it becomes obsolete. 

"Funding comes from two 
places " the students and the gov- 
ernment," he said. "If the govern- 
ment stops, students have to make 
up the difference." 

Lavigne disagrees. 
"There ' s nothing wrong with spend- 
ing revenue on upgrading an institu- 
tion 's 

technological infrastructure, but 
when it comes on the backs of stu- 
dents, that's a problem." 

Carleton students may put 
the fee to a vote, but Lavigne calls 
the question *bogus.' 

Students are left with only 
two options in the vote, pay more 
money or lose out on services. "That 
question puts a lot of people in a 



very precarious situation, because 
they feel if they vole against it, they 
are going to lose out on something." 

According to Chris Carter, 
president of McGill University's 
student council, the university is 
expecting $12-18 million cut from 
its operating budget by the provin- 
cial government. But while tuition 
is still frozen for Quebec residents, 
McGill has reorganized its ancillary 
fees to raise the total amount of 
extra fees by about $200 for all 
undergraduates. 

Like Lavigne, Carter says 
students shouldn't foot the bill for 
the university's revenue problems. 

"Because of government 
cuts, not just in Quebec, but across 
the board, services are suffering, so 
students are taking the initiative in 
several cases to raise funds," he 
said. "I really think it should be the 
priority of the government to fund 
postsecondary education so we don ' t 
need all these sidefees." 

Lavigne says the way for 
students to fight back against ancil- 
lary fee increases is to lobby their 
student unions to oppose any and all 
fee increases. 

"If (students vote) against 
these increases then they send a mes- 
sage to the government that even if 
you're going to build a another new 
wing of a building or put in new 
equipment, we are drawing a line in 
the sand and saying, *no more 
user-fee increases. IT 

i\^ 



An Update On Change 



by Mike Grube 

SGA President 




On behalf of the Students General Association I hope that everyone had a great "reading weeic". Whether 
or not you went somewhere warm (don't rub it in!) or you were lucky enough to stay in Sudbury and enjoy that 
refreshing winter cold, welcome back. 

Laurentian has not slowed down at all in the new year and here is an update on what is going on. All 
departments and schools had to submit their choices for the proposed new faculty model by January 31, 1997. 
As you remember the Senate accepted in principle a motion to reduce the faculty number from the present four 
to two faculties. It is the mandate of Acaplan to take the submissions and : .lake recommendations to Senate. The 
Senate meeting is February 27, 1997, and Acaplan has accepted the overwhelming majority of Schools and 
departments' submissions. The vote on the 27, will be for conditional acceptance of the faculty changes. The 
proposal would not become final until the by-laws have been changed and that would occur at the March Senate 
meeting. It is important to realize that the proposed changes should provide students with more options and greater 
flexibility. 

Another major project that Laurentian is embarking upon is the Capital Fundraising campaign. Laurentian 
has begun this major campaign with the hope of raising funds for among other thing's student aid and technology 
improvements. The University is asking students to give their time and energy to help with the campaign for 
money and after receiving a good base they then look externally. This is an excellent opportunity for people at 
Laurentian to learn about what this school does very well. From the worid class research that occurs right across 
campus to LU's reputation fro having some of the highest academic requirements in the country in certain 
programs, Laurentian is a first class institution. 

It is once again that time of year for the SGA annual elections. They begin on February 24, 1 997 at 4:(X) 
PM and run until March 6, 1997. Voting will take place on March 5 & 6, 1997. Voting cards are being mailed 
to all SGA members as we speak. Remember that speeches are on February 27, 1 997 at 11 : 30 am in the Science 
Cafeteria and on March 3, 1997 at 1 1 :30 am in the Great Hall. Remember to vote because the right candidates 
will make a difference. Thank you for your time. 



Ontario students face 
tuition fee hikes 



by Rachel Furey 

The Fulcrum (CVP) 

Student leaders in Ontario are upset by a government decision to allow 
universities and colleges to hike tuition fees by 10 per cent next fall, but 
university administrators don't think the fee increase is high enough. 

Education Minister John Snobelen announced on Feb. 5 that 
postsecondary schools can increase tuition by up to 20 per cent for any one 
program, but the average tuition fee increase for each institution can't exceed 
1 per cent. 

The fee hike, which represents a total tuition fee increase of 30 percent 
since the Tories took power a year and a half ago, was denounced by student 
leaders across the province. 

"Students have reached their limit in the amount they are able to pay, 
and the amount they are willing to borrow," said Vicky Smallman, of the 
Canadian Federation of Students. 

Tuition fees at most Ontario schools are about $3,000 a year for 
undergraduates. Those studying out-of-town pay an additional average of 
$9,000 for living expenses, she said. 

Smallman says governments and universities have to start finding 
alternatives to tuition hikes if they want to keep postsecondary education 
accessible. 

In contrast, university administrators say the fee increase isn't high 
enough. The government cut $280 million from the operating budgets of 
universities and colleges last year, and Ontario schools are currently the lowest 
funded in the country. 

"The quality (of post-secondary education) is decreasing, this (an- 
nouncement) only ensures that that will continue," said University of Waterloo 
President Jim Downey. 

Downey is disappointed the government won't allow universities to 
set tuition fees as high as they want without any regulation - an idea 
recommended by a government advisory panel on postsecondary education. 

He says, to protect the quality of education, most universities will be 
forced to implement the 10 per cent tuition fee increase. 

The government may hike tuition fees again, but Elizabeth Spielbergs, 
a spokesperson for the ministry, says further increases will have to wait until 
the federal government reforms student aid. The ministry is pushing the federal 
government to adopt a loan repayment plan based on graduates' incomes. 

Snobelen 's announcement was coupled with a commitment to in- 
crease student aid funding. Thirty per cent of any tuition fee increase must be 
set aside for student aid and the government will add $150 to the province's 
student assistance program, a 37 per cent increase from 1996-97 levels. 

The amount of students' total loans the government will forgive will 
increase from $6,000 to $7,000. 

But the commitment to increase student aid only angers student 
leaders who see it as a ploy to place the burden of education cuts on the backs 
of students. 

"The way it's released is to make it look like a good thing, but it 
doesn't translate into anything but higher debt and higher tuition," said Kelly 
Foley, of the Canadian Alliance of Student Associations. 

Foley says the tuition fee hike will force students further into debt and 
hurt accessibility to education. 

"Students get a double punch. They have to find more money to pay 
tuition and (as a result) they'll have more debt," she said. 

Snobelen also announced the introduction of a $ 1 5-20 million Ontario 
Merit Scholarship program, which will pay the tuition of the top two per cent 
of students at Ontario's colleges and universities. 



Lambda Constitution 

reading this Friday 

February 28th 

at 2:00 pm 



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Volume 35 • Issue 19 / Num^ro 19* LAMBDA 



Thursday, February 27 , 1997/le jeudi 27 fevrier 1997 



LTnm : !Rs 



SPACE FOR RANT 



Dear Editor 

This is to inform you of the activities of the Laurentian University CoaHtion 
for Social Justice. We are a group composed of students, faculty and staff 
who are organizing around the Sudbury Days of Action: A Celebration of 
Resistance. The Days of Action are to be held March 20, 2 1 and 22. We are 
holding various activities and events throughout those days, both at the 
university and within the community of Sudbury. Our main focus of these 
days is to show a united resistance to the cuts and proposed changes to the 
education system. We are hoping for your support in this struggle which 
afects us all. Any support will be greatly appreciated. If you have any 
questions or concerns surrounding these activities, please feel free to contact 
any of the people below. 

Sincerely Yours, 

The Liaison Committee: 

Cindy Henriques, Andrea McNeily, Alex B. Wilde 



Dear Editor, 



In response to your article Almost Perfect.., I would like to say a few 
things. First of all, numbers 1 , 2 and 5 are excellent points, but there is one 
you missed. During the lightsaber battle between Obi- Wan and Vader, Obi- 
Wan lowers his lightsaber and only a single dot of blue light is shown, with 
the pole used for the battle clearly visible. Secondly, numbers 3 and 4 are 
mis-interpretations. 

Number 3 stated **In the new scene with Jabba the Hut, Guido is 
shown standing in the background even though Han Solo just shot and killed 
him in the Cantina." First off... The name was Greedo not Guido, and 
secondly, it is another Rodian who was sent by another gangster to kill 
Greedo. 

Number 4 stated "C3P0 has to translate R2D2 for everyone, but all of 
a sudden when they are getting ready to head to the Death Star, Luke 
understands perfectly what R2 is saying." The reason behind this is that when 
R2D2 was in the astromech spot in Luke's X-Wing, he was sending what he 
was saying (or more accurately beeping) to the view screen on the X-Wing. 
This is more evident in The Empire Strikes Back when Luke looks at the 
screen and says that they are going to the Degobah System rather than 
meeting up with the rest of the Rebels. It is because he is reading the message 
that R2D2 just sent him. 
Thank you for you patience. 
Gordon Hauta 



Dear Editor, 



I am writing in response to Hedda Johnson's article on Bryson 
McCarthy. I too read about what his -girlfriend felt and diought each week 
and thought this quite odd. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said 
you wondered whether or not he had any thoughts of his own. I think firstly, 
he uses his girlfriend because if its her opinion then that leaves him out of 
any finger pointing. "Hey, I didn't say or mean that, it's what my girlfriend 
thought." Secondly, I think it does something for his ego to mention the fact 
that he has a girlfriend. Like you know those people you meet, and I'm sure 
you've all had this experience, who have that annoying habit of mentioning 
that they have a significant other in every second sentence. Okay, so you 
have a girlfriend ^ood fcf.you!! You must really be a great person and 
attractive and have all that it takes to be going out with somebody. "Hey 
folks I'm not a loser, I do have a girlfriend so I must be worthy." I guess 
growing out of this comes with maturity. Hey Bryson take a stand, be a 
confident self-assured person who has his own opinion. I'm sure we'd still 
find your column interesting if you put forth your own opinion. Okay, so you 
have a girlfriend, that's great!! But do you have an opinion?? 

Dawn Lin 



Letter To The Editor 



This is a further response to 
the showing of the "Hearts of 
Hate: The Battle for Young Minds" 
that was shown in conjunction with 
the campaign for zero tolerance of 
ignorance at Laurentian University. 
I was the lesbian who expressed an- 
ger over the context of how the film 
was being shown and what was the 
committee going to do for the stu- 
dents who are affected everyday by 
what that movie portrayed. I asked, 
"How was the committee going to 
protect the students from any back- 
lash or abuse that they will have to 
endure following that movie and this 
campaign. 

As I pointed out after die film, 
in the context of "Jean's Day" that 
was held two years ago (by the Stu- 
dents Peer group) to show support for 
and of lesbian and gay rights, this 
backlash is doomed to repeat itself. 
The lesbian and gay community was 
only consulted a few weeks before 
the actual day. Any suggestions that 
they proposed was never acknowl- 
edged. There was no introduction to 
the day, as in seminars or guest speak- 
ers, and no follow up. students were 
asked to wear jeans to show support 
for their fellow gay and lesbian stu- 
dents, but no one took the time to 
explain why. So for many reasons 
the students revolted, and the back- 
lash fell on to the gay and lesbian 
students. . 

I appreciated your attempt to 
explain the reasons for showing that 
particular film, you said you wanted 
students to get angry. Well, who got 
angry? I believe only the students 
who were directly afftected by the 
content of that movie were angry. I 
was burning with anger and my iden- 
tity as a lesbian was not even ac- 
knowledged in the film, I can only 
wonder how the other people who 
were mentioned and who were sitting 
in the room must have felt. However, 
I wish to remind you that since you 
offered to answer the question I raise, 
I would like you to know that you did 
not answer my question. But that is 
OK as I knew that since the question 
was not seriously considered at any 
time before or after the movie, I did 
not expect and answer to be returned. 
I just felt it was important that this 
failure to address the affects of our 
daily systematric oppression was not 
acknowledged. 

Furthermore, where was the 
safety that would have allowed free 
discussion of the movie? Why was 
the movie not introduced in some 
sort of context that students could 



actively address it in a more personal 
and political fashion? Why did Peter 
Rymont take up so much speaking 
space when his standpoint, as an in- 
vestigative journalist, looks objec- 
tively at everything rather than sub- 
jectively. Additionally, his perspec- 
tive as a white male comes from a 
position of priviledge and not from 
the standpoint of those being repre- 
sented and deviants and evil in the 
film? I am assuming that I have to 
point out that the deviant people in 
the film are the women, the African- 
Canadians, the Jewish people and 
the lesbian and gays talked about in 
the film and not the members of the 
Heritage Front. 

white supremacists were given 
objective free reign to announced their 
dogma about hatred and power and 
this objective way of looking at rac- 
ism was carried into most of the dis- 
cussion. And why was the focus on a 
select group of people who are con- 
sidered a extremist fringe and not on 
the "common sense revolution" of 
the Neo-conservative movement in 
this province and country? Why did 
so few students speak up about their 
anger? while I do not want to speak 
for any other student except those I 
have since talked to, many were 
afraid, so once again they have had 
their voices silenced. More impor- 
tantly, it is very difficult to address a 
movie and critically criticize it when 
the producer is standing right there 
and was able to maintain control of 
how die questions would be answered 
and who actually was able to address 
them. 

Some after the fact sugges- 
tions would be to have had someone 
other than the producer facilitate the 
movie. People who are directly in- 
volved with that oppression in their 
lives could have been sought out as 
speakers. Caucuses could have been 
formed so people could have desen- 



sitized each other, and then come 
back to the main group with what 
Laurentian could do. The notion of 
power should have been introduced 
more clearly from the start so racism, 
heterosexual ism and anti-semitism is 
not seen as ignorance but power over. 
Safety measures should have been 
taken so voices would not be silenced. 

I wish it to be clearly under- 
stood, I am not saying what the com- 
mittee did or is doing wrong. Addi- 
tionally, I realize I can be constructed 
as complaining since I was not in- 
volved with any organization of this 
event. My reality is that I am in- 
volved everyday of my life. Every- 
day I am trying to understand my 
place and my movement as a member 
of the white race, and how I can use 
effective behavior to stop white 
supremacist oppression. But as a 
lesbian member of the feministwom- 
en*s movement, which I have been 
involved for years, I have discovered 
that when people want to do some- 
thing for someone else they rarely 
listen to what those "other people" 
have to say. After all, gay/lesbian 
bashing is a part of my life, and I am 
tired of explaining my oppression as 
a visible lesbian and how my visibil- 
ity affects my everyday life. 

So in the context of this film ^ 
and the method that it was shown in, 
it was not constructive in unlearning 
white supremacy, or unlearning anti- 
semetism or to understand and recog- 
nize heterosexual ism. It only brought 
home a lot of pain and anger. It has 
only pointed out to me that I have a 
higher chance of being bashed, but at 
least I won't be killed, which is a 
relief. It is very comforting to have 
watched a film and now know that 
they would much rather leave me for 
dead and piss in my wounds and give 
me something to remember me by. 
Yes, indeed, I do feel much better 
now. 

Sincerely, Mary Mahood-Greer 
Not the first, not the only one, and 
certainly not the last, visible lesbian 
on campus 



Letter To The Editor 

I am writing to ask the Laurentian University community to come out 
to the last two Lady Vee home games — Friday, February 28, and Sunday. 
March 2 — to support the team as it heads into the provincial and national 
championships. 

One of the most impressive displays of enthusiasm I've seen at 
Laurentian is the cheering squad of young men that attends the men's 
basketball games. They're great! Maybe they, or other students with equal 
energy and volume, will make it to the women's last two games and give the 
young women a boost before they travel south. 

The crowd support for men's basketball is encouraging. Let's see if 
we can bring out the same for the women's team — who are disciplined, well 
coached, and fun to watch. Their games are among the best and lowest priced 
diversion on campus. 

looking forward to meeting a lot of noisy people in the gym that weekend. 
Sincerely, Shannon Hengen Department of English 



Lambda Staff 



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LeBlanc, Chad Carreira. 

Lambda is the weekly student 
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funded through a direct student levy by 
the members of the Students' General 
Association, yet remains autonomous 
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student and administrative. 

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Write to us but 
remember- 
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Letters submitted must bear 
the author's full name and tel- 
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content considered sexist, 
racist, homophobic, 

heterosexist or for length. 



LAMBDA • Volume 35 Issue 19/ Num^ro 19 



in 




Thursday, February 27, 1997 / le jeudi 27 fevrier 1997 



Okay Laurentian, its time once 
again to take the infamous corruption 
quiz. Its been a year since we last 
published the quiz, so hopefully you 
can score higher than last year. So 
reflect back on what (or who) you 
have done over the past year and see 
just how corrupt you actually are. 



The Corruption Quiz 



Intoxication 

1. Ever tried alcohol? (1) 

2. Ever been drunk? (2) 

3- Ever play drinking games? (2) 

4. Ever fall down because you drank 
too much? (3) 

5. Ever drunk enough to throw up? 
(4) On yourself(+l) on someone else 
(+2) 

6. Ever wake up and not remember 
what you did the night before? (5) 
Bonus: Ever wake up in another city 
and not remember how you got there? 
(+9) 

7. Ever been forcibly removed from a 
bar? (5) 

8. Ever participated in a pub crawl? 
(2) 

9. Do you drink regularly, at least 
three times a week? (3) Bonus: 1 
point for each additional day (max. 7 




the intention of getting wasted? (4 
each) 

20. Do you do drugs regularly at least 
twice a week? (6) More than four 
times a week? (+2) 

21. Do you spend more money on 
drugs than food or tuition? (9) 

22. Ever sold drugs? (4) To a minor? 
(+2) 

23. Ever sold drugs to support a drug 



month or more of you life due to 
intoxication? (9) 

Filthy Passions 

29. Ever been on a date? ( 1 ) 

30. Ever been felt up/groped? (2) 

31. Ever masturbated? (2) To or- 
gasm? (+ 1 ) In front of someone else? 
(+3) In public? (+4) 

32. Ever been masturbated? (2) To 




points) 

1 0. Ever fall asleep or pass out in the 

bar? (4) 

11. On the dance floor? (5) 

12. During sex? (4) 

13. When entering your favorite bar 
does everyone call out your name? 
(6) 



Illegalities 

14. Ever been arrested? 
(6) Convicted? (+3) 
15 Ever been in a riot? 
(2) Caused a riot? (+4) 

16. Ever caused more 
than $1000 property 
damage? (8) 

17. Ever had to leave the 
country suddenly? (9) 

1 8. Everbeen considered 
a menace to society by a 
public official? (10) 

Alternative Recrea- 
tional Consumables 

19. Ever try pot, hash, 
shrooms, licking toads, 
peyote skins, mourning 
glory seeds, tea leaves, 
cough syrup, rubbing al- 
cohol, airplane glue, af- 
ter shave, or gravol with 



habit? (7) 

24. Ever used uppers/downers? (6) 

25. Ever used hallucinogens? (7) 

26. Ever used crack, cocaine or hero- 
ine? (8) 

27. Ever been stoned and/or drunk 
for more than 48 hours? (8) 

28. Ever forgotten the events of one 




orgasm? +1) 

33. Ever masterbated while talking 
on the phone? (4) 

34. Ever participated in group phone 
sex? (5) 

35. Ever watched a porno? (2) Been 
in a porno? (+6) 

36. Ever had sex? (5) 
37. How old were you when 
you first had sex? Under 15? 

(5) 15-18? (4) 19-21? (3) 
22+(2) 
3 8 . Ever had a one night stand? 

(6) Did you sneak out the 
morning after? (+3) 

39. Ever bathed or showered 
with someone else? (6) 

40. Ever paid for sex? (7) 

41 . Ever recorded a sexual act 
in which you participated? (6) 

42. Ever engage in oral sex? 
(6) To orgasm? (+1) 

43. Ever engage in the 69 po- 
sition? (6) 

44. Ever engage in anal sex? 
(6) To orgasm? (+1) 

45. Ever contracted an STD? 
(6) 

46. Ever had sex without any 
protection? (6) 

47. Ever been or made some- 
one pregnant? (8) 



48. Do you have any body parts 
pierced besides ears and nose? (7) 

49. Ever shaved or dyed pubic hairs? 
(yours or others) (6) 

50. Ever have sex infront of unsus- 
pecting people? (8) 

5 1 . Ever been so loud during sex that 
the neighbours complained? (7) 

52. Did your neighbours start a peti- 
tion? (-1-3) 

53. Ever had sex with two or more 
partners in a week? (7) In a day? (-1-7) 
Bonus: 5 points for each additional 
person above two in one day? 

54. Ever had more than one person at 
a time? (8) 

55. Ever fantasixed about someone 
during sex besides your present part- 
ner? (6) 

56. Ever had sex with a virgin? (7) 

57. Ever describe a sexual act explic- 
itly to your religious leader? (7) 

58. Ever had sex in a public place? (5) 
Bonus: a church, cemetary, dance 
floor, public washroom, or Sky dome 
box with die curtains open (+4 each) 

59. Ever had sex outside? (7) 

60. Ever had sex with a cop? (8) 

61 . Ever get scratch marks or carpet 
bums from a sex act? (7) 

62. Ever broken a major kitchen ap- 
pliance during sex? (8) 

63. Ever photocopied your own 
genatalia? (7) 

64. Ever used organic substances 
during sex? (8) 

65. Ever purchaced and used sex toys? 
(7) 

66. Ever licked and/or had someone 
lick an eyeball? (2) toes? (+2) ears? 
(+2) molars? (-1-3) 

67. Ever practiced bondage, sadism, 
or semi-strangulation for enhanced 
sexual gratification? (8) 

68. Ever had sex with someone pri- 
marily because they looked like you? 
(9) 

69. Ever used small rodents in a sexual 
act? (10) 

70. Does necrophilia ( 1 2), beastiality 
(12), Jacques Parizeau/Nell Carter 
(20) turn you on? 




Scoring Guide 

0-75 Get thee to a nunnery 
75-150 A score only a mother can 
love. 

150-225 Owner of a platinum opal 
frequent flyer card. 
225-300 There are twelve step pro- 
grams for people like you... look into 
itf 

301-400 Go straight to hell, do not 
pass go. 

401+ You're lying! Unless... Nell 
Carter... Oh, you're sick! 



Lambda Staff Scores 

85 





Volume 35 • Issue 19 / Num6ro 19* LAMBDA 



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Thursday, February 27 , 1997/ le jeudi 27 fevrier 1997 

Get In The Ring 

by Bryson McCarthy 

Columnist 

As I 
was looking 
through my 
cupboards for 
something to 
eat for dinner 
tonight, 1 no- 
ticed some- 
thing that con- 
fused me to no 
end. As I 
scanned the 
cans and 
boxes of 
foods I have 
purchased, I 
_ noticed a great 

number of internet addresses. Not just Email either, these were websites 
made for and about everything from Spam to Sunny Delight. All I ask is why? 
Why do we need to clutter up the so-called information highway with un- 
needed rest stops? 

I have noticed more and more at this school and at home, people 
using up precious time on their computers on stupid websites that don't need 
to be there in the first place. Sure, Fve looked up web sites for bands I like, 
and women I would love to meet, but the fun in that lasted about as long as 
a snowball in hell. What is so great about visiting a computer site that won't 
teach you anything, just entertain you for about one or two minutes? 

If this is the type of entertainment the world is going to depend on, 
then the future is a sad place to be. No one will leave their houses. TV and 
movies used to be thought of as wasting time, but at least you aren't glued to 
a computer screen talking to some other loser who probably just downloaded 
a bunch of naked photos of Pamela Anderson or Brad Pitt. 

E-mail is one of the only good inventions that has emerged from this 
information catastrophe. It's faster than the post office, and is much more 
convenient, but it has spawned much worse alternatives. Take the chat room 
for example. A bunch of people sitting in front of computers talking to people 
in other countries (or so they claim) and probably lying about everything. 
Sure, its a great way to make all your fantasies about yourself come true, but 
its not real. If you need to do this, then you have some serious problems to 
work out in the real world. 

Now, for those of you wasting computer time in the university 
computer labs on "surfing the web*\ You had better hope I don't need access 
to a computer to finish a project or thesis while you are visiting the ever so 
popular Internet Celebrity Drive Way Site (yes, it actually exists). Why waste 
the Web? Work on it! Learn from it! Use it to your advantage instead of 
becoming the 1 ,782, 234th visitor to the WD-40 website. 

The internet has been dubbed the information super-highway, but 
there are so many off- ramps and potholes along the way users have forgotten 
the main goal of the whole system. INFORMATION!!! Or should I say, 
useful information. Everything you need is on the web, it§ just getting past 
the David Letterman's Top Ten Lists and the Mr.Clean Bathroom Cleaning 
Tips that has become the problem. The world is now entranced with 
downloading useless knowledge and Emailing their friends that they just 
found Elvis in a chat room from Kalamazoo, Michigan. 

I guess my challenge this week can be broken down into two parts. 
First, don't waste the universities, and your classmates time by surfing when 
there is real work to be done. And second, don't become another piece of 
roadkill on the information super-highway. Use it to get ahead of all the other 

losers stuck behin d at www.moron.com. 

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IITRAVELCUTS 

New Student Centre, SCE 234, Laurentian U. 
673-1401 

Owned and operated by the Conodion federotion of Students 



Tales from the left 



by Ray Marks 

Columnist 



While most students were en- 
joying their break, the federal gov- 
ernment introduced their last budget 
before an election. What were we to 
expect ? It is typical Liberal budget 
without any real big surprises. As a 
matter of fact, there weren't any 
surprise in it at all. The Liberals 
figure the voters don't really want to 
be surprised right now so close to an 
election. 

The G.S.T. fiasco started a 
sort of mini-backlash against the Lib- 
erals and most Canadians believe that 
Chretien did lie to them. To calm 
things down a bit, Paul Martin de- 
cided to introduce a "feel good" 
budget. This budget did not include 
any big spending cuts or tax cuts. 

The Liberals don't believe 
these cuts are needed right now be- 
cause they are so far ahead in balanc- 
ing the budget, well, in reality, they 
don't want to lose an election be- 
cause Canadians are starting to get 
fed up with cuts everywhere. They 
also didn't want start looking like 
Tories by cutting taxes and not being 
able to make up for it. 

Paul Martin is trying to boast 
about the slight increases in transfer 
payments to the provinces. But ever 
since the Liberals were elected in 
1993, transfer payments have de- 
creased heavily taking money out of 



such things as health care and educa- 
tion. There are also the new funds 
available for research grants but it's 
too little , too late. Canada is falling 
behind in research and it took the 
Liberals an election to react. To try to 
convince voters that they might be 
doing something.. 

Then came the fund to combat 
child poverty. A great idea that a 
Social Democrat such as myself likes 
but this fund seems quite ironic. In 
the sense that it was policies like the 
ones practiced by the Liberals that 
helped create this child poverty. True, 
it has always existed but in the last 
few years it seems to have increased 
(check out the UN statistics) and the 
Liberals want us to believe they are 
trying to fix a problem they them- 
selves created. Quite contradictory! 

What else is there to say about 



this budget? It is still upholds the 
same unfair taxation policies of the 
federal government. Thousands of 
large corporations do not pay a cent 
in taxes while the average Canadian 
suffers eveiy time he or she gets a 
paycheck. This is a serious problem 
that the Liberals still refuse to look in 
to. 

If this is the budget they are 
going to run an election on, there are 
other options. I believe that many 
voters are looking for that opinion 
and let's hope a good part of them 
find it so that we can finally have 
national opposition in the House. 
When the election is called, ask your- 
self what this government really done 
for you. Then ask yourself if they are 
going to win anyway who do you 
want to baby-sit them for another 
four years. 




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L.U. Represented at Model UN 

by Francois Marier 

Staff Writer 

For three years now students from Laurentian have been participating in the North American Model United 
Nations held every year in Toronto. This year, L.U. had two delegations at the Model UN representing the countries 
of Pakistan and Egypt. 

Most of you are probably wondering what a Model UN is. It*s a forum of 6 days that bring together 
approximately 400 students from all over Canada, the U.S. and overseas to debate important topics in worid affairs. 
The delegates choose the committees they will represent their assigned country in and depending on the country and 
its standing in the UN, those committees are predetermined. Much research is required to attend an event of this 
nature and a Political Science class helped the delegates in their research. 

The students would like to thank all of their sponsors for this event including the Dean of Social Sciences, 
the Department of Political Science, the President, the Vice-President, the SGA and especially the Laurentian 
University Political Science Association (LUPSA) that organizes the delegations every year. 

The benefits from attending such an event are astounding. The students learn much in the means of 
diplomacy, international relations, the workings of the UN and the policies of the countries they represent. It is also 
an excellent opportunity to meet people from all over the globe. Laurentian needs to improve its image and by 
attending such events, people learn that our students are of the same caliber if not higher than a university such as 
UBC. Two of the delegates distinguished themselves in their respected committees and both received honorable 
mentions for the work they did. They are Francois Marier and Jim Chehade. 

Some of the topics debated and resolved included: Expanding Global Threat of Terrorism, Black Market 
Informal Sector Economies, War Crimes Against Children, Tribal Conflict in Africa, The Basel Convention on the 
Transportation of Hazardous Waste, The Situation in Palestine and The Exploitation of Women. If you are interested 
in finding out more about the Model UN or wanting to participate next year come see LUPSA in the Clubs Room 
or Osvaldo Croci in the Political Science Department. 

The L.U. delegates to NAMUN were: 
Pakistan 

Francois Marier Disarmament & International Security Committee 

David Smith Economic and Financial Committee 

Peter Beardsley Social, Cultural and Humanitarian Committee 

Ruth Slee Special Political & Decolonization Committee 

Chris Logan Commission on Sustainable Development 

Robert Verrilli Security Council 

Jim Chehade International Labour Organization 



Egypt 

Lisa Risko 
David McDonald 
Leena Salach 
Jennifer Chamberland 
Ivana Robinic 
Brenda Sutherland 
Natalie Marshall 



Disarmament & International Security Committee 
Economic and Financial Committee 
Social, Cultural and Humanitarian Committee 
Special Political & Decolonization Committee 
Commission on Sustainable Development 
International Labour Organization 
International Press Officer 



LAMBDA • Volume 35 Issue 19/ Num§ro 19 



api9iio9i 



] 



by Janet Clermont 

Contributor 



Canadians have become far 
too uptight lately in their futile at- 
tempt not to offend visible minorities 
or traditionally suppressed peoples. 
Consider politically correct terms. 
Have we not become obsessed in all 
our political correctness? It's virtu- 
ally impossible to keep on top of this 
new terminology. Yet at the risk of 
offending minorities (collectively the 
majority), we adopt these terms. 

In Canada, we no longer 
have short people, but vertically chal- 
lenged individuals. Those who are 
encumbered with glasses are not near- 
sighted or far-sighted, they are opti- 
cally challenged. The word "women" 
is no longer used, with its sexist con- 
notations; '*womyn" has replaced it. 

In light of this new liberal 
thinking, some argue it's time these 
changes were adopted into traditional 
lyrics. On this list for reform is our 
Canadian national anthem. 

In the Sept. 13 edition of 
The Sudbury Star , a letter to the edi- 
tor proposes exactly this. In his letter, 
Walter Donovan of Saskatoon claims 
the national anthem should be 
changed to "make it appropriate for 
singing in churches as well as for 
non-Christians elsewhere." He argues 
that since Canada is not the native 
land of several millions of its citi- 
zens, the first line should be changed 
to "0* Canada! O fair and favoured 
land!" The original wording, he 
claims, implies that the privilege we 
enjoy as Canadians is a gift from 
God. 

Secondly, the wording of 
the subsequent line 'True patriot love 
in all thy sons command" ignores 
half of the population, namely 
womyn. This, he proposes, in his 
politically correct mind, should be 
changed to "True patriot love, in hope 



O' Canada/Quebec 



and faith, command." 

But why stop there? If we 
are going to reword the Canadian 
national anthem with politically cor- 
rect lyrics, let's go all the way. 

I'm officially challenging 
any Member of Parliament to intro- 
duce these changes through a private 
member's bill. Here is a proposed 
version: 

**0' Canada/Quebec - the politically 
correct version, 1996." 

"O 'Canada/Quebec [we are 
an officially bilingual country], our 
home and multicultural land" (of 
course this land does not belong to 
any one individual or collective 
group; it belongs to everyone and 
must remain intact for future genera- 
tions). 

"True patriot love, in all our 
men and womyn command" (no in- 
tent of domination should be read 
into the word command). 

"With glowing hearts, we 
see..." Wait! What of our optically 
challenged friends? This won't due. 
Perhaps, "With glowing hearts, we 
know you rise, our true North strong 
and free" (free being a relative word, 
for no one is truly free; we are all 
subject to the social and political con- 
fines of this fine country). 

"From far and wide 
O 'Canada/Quebec, we stand on guard 
for thee." Of course conscription is 
no longer enforced, so in actuality, 
no one can be forced to 'stand on 
guard'. Perhaps this line should be 
altered to read: "From far and wide 
O'Canada/Quebec, we men and 
womyn employed of our own free 
will to defend the country in equal 
force, may chose to do so." And of 
course if we choose to defend the 
country, employment and payment 
equity will apply. 

"God keep our land" (re- 
member this land belongs to no one. 
The word *our' must be omitted). 



"God keep this land for future gen- 
erations." Wait, scratch that. "Oh 
great spirit" may work. With the risk 
of offending one of a possible many 
spirits by implymg one is greater 
than the others, this should read: "Oh 
great spirits keep this land, glorious 
and free from political and social 
intrusions on its inhabitants." Wait. 
Oh great spirits may risk offending 
those who don't believe in spirits 
either. "Let's all keep this land glori- 
ous and free." 

"Oh Canada/Quebec, we 
stand ..." Since we risk offending our 
physically handicapped, oops, chal- 
lenged cohabitants, let's omit the 
word stand. Let's try this again. "Oh 
Canada/Quebec, we are on guard (if 
we chose and will be rewarded finan- 
cially for it) for thee. Oh Canada/ 
Quebec, we are on guard for thee." 

Keep in mind this is just a 
draft proposal. At the risk of offend- 
ing any minorities or the womyn of 



Thursday, February 27, 1997 / le jeudi 27 fevrier 1997 



them could be sung with a repre- 
sentative of each minority in every 
language at the same time! Perhaps 
this would solve the dilemma and no 
one in the entire country would be 
offended. Canada would become the 
Utopia of the world. People would 
flock from every comer of the earth 
to live here (of course they would 
have to pass through the country's 
strict immigration laws). 

In all likelihood, this draft 
national anthem will not receive the 
attention of a private member's bill, 
as Mr. Donovan's will not. These 
changes to the national anthem are, 
admittedly, outrageous, as any 
changes would be to a song designed 
to represent this great country. It is 
simply impossible to please every 
minority and free thinker in this ever- 
changing country. To take a song 
written with the intent of creating a 
sense of nationalism at the time and 
revamp it, will not settle the ills of the 
country. These problems run deeper 
than the words of our national an- 
them. 



this country, I welcome any submis- 
sions or suggestions for an even more 
universal national anthem. 

Of course, the new politi- 
cally correct national anthem must 
have French and English versions 
which receive equal coverage during 
Hockey Night in Canada, one imme* 
diately preceding the other. Wait! 
Which version is sung first? French 
or English? And there still lies the 
risk of offending other ethnic com- 
munities. Perhaps each line should 
be sung in one of the many languages 
that make up this multicultural na- 
tion. Imagine. We could have one 
line in Cree, another in Chinese, yet 
another in Italian and so on. What a 
song. What a statement of our unity. 
But which language should open the 
national anthem. Hmmm ... 

At the risk of offending our 
multicultural, optically challenged, 
womyn and vertically challenged 
cohabitants, perhaps the national an- 



Lambda's 1997 Elections 

Elections of Editor-in-Chief and Financial Director will be held on March 21st 1997. 
Nominations will open on February 28 and close on March 14 at Noon. 

The position of Editor-in-Chief is available to all elcted staff of Lambda Publications of 
1 996-1 997. This person would represent Lambda to other organizations and the community 
at large, would be one of the signing officers of Lambda, the other being the Financial 
Director, and would be the chief administrator of Lambda Publications. There will be an 

honourarium paid. 

The position of Financial Director is open to all members of the Laurentian community. This 
person is responsible for the budget and the financial management of lambda Publications. 
S/he would be the financial officer, would be responsible for the advertising department, the 
financial statements and various other administrative affairs. The successful candidate must 
be a member of the Laurentian University community who has taken three (3) business 
courses or who has related experience. (Recommended business courses include account- 
ing, economics, finance and a relevant computer course.) Related experience is defined by 
a working knowledge of accrual accounting, cash accounting, forecasting, computers, 
budgeting, selling and marketing in the forms of advertising, distribution, and pricing. There 
will be an honorarium paid. 




CEDAR POINTE MALL 

1984 REGENT ST. 

TEL: 522-6284 



Tuesday & Thursday AFTER 8PM 

35 cent WINGS 



Wednesday after 8pm 
Buy 60oz pitcher 

GET A FREE PIZZA 



Sunday beginning March 2nd 
LIVE ENTERTAINMENT FEATURING: 

WEXLER'S CURTAIN 



Volume 35 • Issue 19 / Num^ro 19* LAMBDA 



Thursday, February 27 , 1997/le jeudi 27 fevrier 1997 



p^SJA j simm ' jrJMife i jJSgJsmsa^^ 



^sm^Kis 



PH 



WELCOME BACK! 



by Honsing Leung 

Columnist 

I hope that everyone had a good reading week. I would just like 
to present some news and notes of some of the things that I observed 
throughout the last little while. 

1st. There has to be something wrong with Riddick Bowe. He gets 
clobbered by Golada and then decides he wants to serve his country. 
Then 9 days later he says that the training is too hard and he is quitting. 
Duh! What did he think it was, Pre-School? I think he should just retire, 
which now means I'm taking a year or two off to find myself. Then he 
will learn that he started boxing just to compete and he will make himself 
a better person and then, not for the money, he will come back. He'll win 
a few, lose big, then retire, etc., etc. 

2nd. Spring Training is here! ! ! ! Baseball is back. The rumor is that Cecil 
Fielder will wait out until March 1 5, then declare himself a free agent and 
sign a deal with the Jays. This could be far fetched but all the signs could 
be there. Watch out if that happens. Also, look for the Frank Thomas and 
Albert (don't call me Joey) Belle show to hit over 100 homers between 
them this year. There could be a problem in the Jays camp as Joe Carter 
has stated all winter he doesn't want to DH. Another George Bell like 
in '87. Probably not. Look for him to play a lot of first, get some action 
in the outfield and DH only a little. What the Jays need to win the pennant 
would be a closer so that we wouldn*t have to see Mike Timlin blow 
another 10 games like he did last year. Maybe we could convince Mr. 
Terminator to have one more go around. 

3rd. March Madness. 64 teams start and only one survives. Now, the 
favorite to win would be Kansas, but my intuition tells me Duke. Yeah, 
I'm a Duke fan, have been since the Danny Ferry days. I know, I did jump 
on the wagon when they beat UNLV in the semis for the first of two 
straight, but I have stuck with them through the last couple of lean years. 
Now they are #7 in the rankings as of this week. They have beaten Wake 
Forest and look impressive. I predict that they will go to the Final Four 
and lose to eventual champs Kentucky (Go Jamal). 

Now our mens' and womens' teams are looking strong going into 
the playoffs (except this past Saturday when I think that the men played 
their worst game of the year. I lost lunch that game 
to a buddy) I expect that they will both come out 
victorious in the Nationals next month. Good luck 
guys and gals. 

4th. AND MOST IMPORTANT SO I'LL WRITE 
IN CAPS. THE WINNERS OF THIS YEARNS 
INTRAMURAL VOLLEYBALL WILL BE 
(Guaranteed) SIGMA DELTA AWESOME! ! ! SO 
BEWARE, BECAUSE WE ARE GONNA RUN 
OVER EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU ON 
OUR WAY TO THE TOP ONCE AGAIN. HRST 
IT WAS THE FILTHY BIRDS ( 1 5-9, 1 5-0) AND 
NEXT UP IS KEVIN? AND FRENCH CON- 
NECTION. NO LUCK NEEDED, WE'RE JUST 
THAT GOOD. 




University athletics more cautious 
in wake of Janes case 



by Craig Babstock 

Canadian University Press 



The impact of the Graham 
Janes sexual assault case is being felt 
in the athletic departments of Cana- 
dian universities, says the president 
of the Atlantic Universities Athletic 
Association. 

"I certainly think it*s raised 
the level of awareness and raised the 
level of concern that people have, 
which I think is good,'*Barb Mullaly 
said. 

"We tend to think that we're 
isolated and when something like this 
happens, quite often everyone likes 
to say *Well that's something that 
could happen over there but it couldn ' t 
happen in our yard.* I don't think 
that's a good attitude. People in all 
aspects of sport and life have to be 
pretty vigilant about this type of 
thing." 

Sexually abuse of athletes 
became a hot issue for sports admin- 
istrators across the country when 
former junior hockey coach Graham 
James was sentenced to prison for 
sexually assaulting young hockey 
players. 

According to Tom Allen, 
the president-elect of the Canadian 
Interuniversity Athletic Union 
(CIAU), a new atmosphere domi- 
nates university athletics. 

"From what you say to a 
student athlete to how you deal with 
a student athlete, I think (this inci- 
dent) has turned on die light in a lot of 
coaches. They must adapt, change, 
and think about how they deal with 
situations and make sure that it's a 
positive experience." 




Since there is no standard 
set by the CIAU for hiring coaches, 
the responsibility for detecting prob- 
lem individuals is left up to the insti- 
tution. 

Allen, also the director of 
athletics at Bishop*s University, says 
there isn't much more his school can 
do to filter out potentially aberrant 
coaching candidates during the hir- 
ing process. 

"We receive applications 
and we are very, very strict on check- 
ing references," he said. "I don ' t know 
if any thing would ever guarantee that 
you're going to catch everything. 
There isn't a hard and firm policy at 
Bishop's that would literally and un- 
equivocally catch every deviant be- 
haviour by any perspective appli- 
cant." 

But Allen says the CIAU is 
on the leading edge of Canadian ath- 
letics, as far as protecting athletes is 
concerned. As evidence he points to 
the CIAU's codes of conduct and 
zero tolerance policy, along with the 
sexual harassment policies and offic- 
ers of member institutions. 

Some athletic officials, 
however, say that change to guard 
against potential sex offenders being 
hired as coaches is required below 
the university level. 

"I'd say where it's going to 
have the biggest affect is at the grass 
roots level, which has a lot of volun- 
teers." said Walt McKee, president 
of the Great Plains Athletic Confer- 
ence. 

McKee said that school sys- 
tems are going to have to be more 
intense as they evaluate the back- 
grounds of their volunteer coaches. 
He also added that the days of taking 
any volunteer for the sake of being 
able to operate a program are over. 



The issue of coaches abus- 
ing the trust of their athletes strikes a 
personal note with Mckee, who 
coaches Manitoba's women's un- 
der- 15 soccer team. 

"I'd be extremely disap- 
pointed knowing that another adult in 
a position of power did those kinds of 
things. It just bothers me, because I 
know the importance that a coach has 
on the overall development of a stu- 
dent athlete. I would be extremely 
disappointed to know that they took 
advantage of that," he said. 

Allen said he does not feel 
university students face the same risks 
as younger members of the commu- 
nity. He feels that because they are 
older, more mature, have a higher 
level of education, and are more aware 
of their rights and privileges, they are 
not as easy targets. 

He said he also hopes uni- 
versity students would be more will- 
ing to report an instance of impropri- 
ety, which would help catch deviant 
individuals instead of letting them 
continue to abuse. 

But this hope is not without 
caution. 

"You hope that because you 
don't hear of any incidents, there 
aren't any. But I think that might be a 
tad naive," he said. 

But he does find himself 
able to put a positive spin on this 
negative situation. 

"In anything bad, there's 
something good. I guess these sce- 
narios that have come to light have 
made people stand up and make a gut 
check of their own practices- 1 think 
as a result of a very, very 
unfortunate incident, amateur sport 
in Canada is going to be helped in the 
long run." 



Last chance to see the 
1996-97 Lady Vees 

This year's Lady Vees have shown incredible resilience. De- 
spite suffering a number of setbacks, including the loss of Joy McNichol 
to injury and the unfortunate passing of long-time head coach Peter 
Innes, the Lady Vees have managed to clinch an OWIAA play-off 
berth. The Lady Vees are a team that have proven time and again that 
diey are a force to be reckoned with and this year is no exception. 

This Friday February 28, the Lady Vees will make their second 
last home appearance of the year as they tip off against the Ryerson 
Rams. This is a must win game, as a victory against Ryerson and a loss 
by York will place the Vees in a tie for second place standing in the 
OWIAA East Division with York. The game takes place at 6: 15pm in 
the Ben Avery Gym. 

On Sunday March 2, the Lady Vees will take to the court for their 
fmal regular season game of the year. They will face the visiting York 
Yeowomen (currently second in the division). A win in this game, in 
addition to a win on Friday, will give the Vees, at the very least, a lie for 
second place in their (;livision. This should be an excellent game and a 
great ending to the regular season. The game starts at 1 :(X)pm in the Ben 
Avery Gym. 

If you have never seen the Lady Vees play before, this is 
definitely the time to do it. Come on out and cheer your team to victory. 
If you have see the Lady Vees before, you already know that these will 
be excellent games that can't be missed. 



UMSiOA .-^VcauGm^d^. lssufe.1:9^ftaji9i$rAJ9 



'ELfECTl09i3Um?LT,M'E9ff 



Thursday, February 27, 1997 /le jeudi 27 fevrier 1997 



ffVP SERVICES 




Christina 
Hayden 

My name is Christina 
Hayden and I am running for 
the position of Vice-President 
of Services. I have been a 
student at Lauren tian for four 
years and I feel I have acquired 
a wide range of skills which 
would be beneficial to improving the Laurentian community. I 
am a fresh face with fresh ideas. Ill is is exactly what the SGA;' 
AGE needs to belter the services which they currently offer and 
to explore new services which students could benefit from. 

I am a graduating student who wants to devote her time 
and energy for the students of Laurentian. This year, I was 
actively involved in Camy Week as the volunteer co-ordinatr. 
Through this opportunity, I gained a great deal of insight on 
what it lakes to be the Vice-President of Services. Though this 
experience, I learned the importance of organization and com- 
munication and it is this knowledge as well as my enthusiasm 
and my outgoing personality v\ hich make me the best candidate 
for this position. 

I am a very approachable individual who believes that 
the students should play an active role in the services which are 
provided for them. I hope to work with the SO A/ AGE execu- 
tives and board as a team to ensure student representation and 
to promote a stronger voice within the Laurentian community. 
If elected, one of the major areas which I would like to address 
is to open the communication avenues between the students and 
the clubs which exist within Laurentian and the SGA/ AGE. 

I am always ready and willing to listen to your sugges- 
tions and concerns. Please do not hesitate to contact me should 
you have any questions or suggestions for the upcoming school 
year (e-mail; S56(X)l63@nickel.laurentian.ca). It is only through 
voting that this process of open communication can begin. Let 
your voice be heard on March 5 and 6. Vote Christina Hayden 
for V.P. of Services. 



Cathy 
Murphy 




Hi there evervbody!! I'm Cathy 
Murphy and Fm running for the 
position of Vice President of Serv- 
ices of the Students General Asso- 
ciation. I am writing this article to 
tell you all about myself and why I 
am the best candidate for this job. 
So. about myself. I am a 
fourth year History major here at 
Laurentian, and I love this school. In my second year here. I successfully 
ran for the position of Thomeloe's S.G.A. Rep. I sat on the S.G. A. board 
during my third year and learned a lot about the way it works. 

In October of this year, a Senate position opened up and I 
decided to run. I was successful and have been representing you, the 
population of the Students General Association, to the University Senate 
ever since. 

Not only do I have experience working with the S.G.A. and 
Senate, but I also have experience when it comes to this particular job. 
While Thomeloe's S.G.A. Rep., I was also an active member of the 
S.G.A.'s Service'sConniltec, assisting the V.P. Services in agreat many 
ways. 

For the past three years I have also actively participated on a 
Camy team, and this past year I was a member of your friendly Camy 
Committee. Yes, I was there, from the beginning, working on the design 
and lay-out of your Camy program. When that was completed, i stuck 
with the committee and helped out anywhere I could. Whether it was 
cutting and laminating your V.I. P. passes or running all over town 
picking up necessary items, to bcmg a gopher right here on campus and 
answering any of your questions orconcems abK)ut the week. I was there. 
Now, at the end of my fourth year. I would like to stay at 
Laurentian and work for you and with you to make the 1997-98 school 
year the most exciting ever!! 

1 believe that my hard-wroking yet fun-loving attitude would be 
perfect for this job. I'm competent and capable and would be honoured 
to be your Vice President of Services for the upcoming year. 

As you might be able to tell. I am not afraid of hard work, and 
I do not mind doing the "little" jobs. I am not afraid of trying new things 
and I am capable of any task put before me. you can be certain of that! ! 
So, on March 5th and 6th. get out and vote! Vote Cathy Murphy for Vice 
President of Services! 




Jason 
Sweeney 

He\ Laurentian, its that time of 

year again, the S.G.A. general eleciionv. My 

name is Jason Sweeney, but most of you know 

me as "Mad Dog". I am a founh year Hisiorv 

and Geography student and am running for the 

position of Vice-Presideni of Serv ices for the 

S.G.A. I am currently an SG. A. Senator, \ oted 

in b> \ou. the people of Laurentian. last year 

This is my second year of service on the S.G.A. 

board. I must say that m\ combined experience 

of SSR Residence Council and S.G.A. Board 
has given me an unique view of life here at Laurentian. I spent three \cars m residence and 
have lived the last year off-campus. TTiis has helped me toevpenence both sides of life here 
at Laurentian. I have experienced Rez. yei I know the problems and the hardships faced 
daily by my fellow off -campus people I feel that this experience is invaluable for an\ 
S.G.A. Executive member in order to see "both sides of the fence". For the last two years. 
I have been involved in the Services side of the S.G.A. I have helped out w ith events m 
any way possible by bemg an active member of the Serv ices committee for the last two 
vears. I have also helped to bring you the last two Camy weeks. ser\ingas the Advertising 
Director for Camy week for the last iwo years This experience has given me invaluable 
contacts w ith in the Sudbury business community which are necessarv to run smoothK in 
this position. 1 have also worked at the Pub DownUnder for the last two years, giving me 
the experience and the knou ledge to oversee the operations of the S.G.A.'s biggest service. 
My vision of the S.G.A. is a simple one — "Pulling Together For Our Future". 
That encompasses the l..aurentian community as well as the Sudbury community. The 
original planners of Laurentian did a horrible job of planning by situating us up here on this 
rock. But there is nothing that we can do about thai now. Now. we must pull together in 
order to function better us a unit. Pad of thai is to have an excellent working relationship 
w iih the A.E.F. What 1 am going to do next vear is to inv ite them in on as many projects 
of the S.G.A. as possible. There are too man> splits here at Laurentian — Rez, Off-campus; 
S.G. A, ./A.E.F. By getting the A.E.F. involved in such events such as concerts and Camy 
week, we can lower costs loall those involved, and provide better service. I want to bridge 
those gaps, not only within Laurentian. but within the Sudbury community as well. 
Sudbury has not realized that this has become a University College tow n as well as a rati/ 
mining town. To do this, I want to set up a "studcnl's night out", possibly in conjunction 
with Cambrian and/or College Boreal, and in conjunction with the Sudbury Downtown 
Business community. This nighi would be held either once a month or possibly once a week 
(Fridays'^) and it would be a night for ihe students of the region to sample the shops, 
restaurants and bars of the area. Hopefully we could convince the business community to 
accommodate us by slaying open later and offering sales to students The same would also 
hold true for the restaurants and bars in the region. This plan would be a great way to gei 
the Off -campus population of Laurentian more involved and would help to integrate 
Laurentian with the city of Sudbury, and maybe even encourage some new faces to come 
to Laurentian. 

I've been here for four years nov\ . When I came up here from Toronto, I did 
not know what I was getting into. I quickly found thai out. Everyone back home questioned 
me as to why I was coming nonh to Sudbury when I could have gone to a southern schcx)!. 
They still ask me the same question. I guess it was for a fresh start. 1 came up here and 
became Mad Dog That was a new start for me. Now it is time for fresh start for Laurent lan. 
Together we can lead Laurentian and the S.G.A. into a new era. AM we have to do is '"Pull 
Together". 



DIR. CULTURAL AFFAIRS 




Chad Carreira 



Vole Chad Carreira for 
Director of Cultural Affairs. 
Now that we got that out of the 
way we can get down to busi- 
ness. I am a third year double 
major in Math and ItaHan. A 
basic opinion I have about 
my self is ** what you see is what 
you get." I am not a very flashy 
person and I'm not going to 
promise things that sound good but won't have a chance of 
getting accomplished like others will try to pull over on you I 
think that you are all smarter than that. What you are going to 
get from me is "1 50%." I know that the phrase has been used a 
million times but it is the truth. Another thing about me is that 
when I don't believe or don't like something I will not let it go 
with out a fight. This I can promise you for all your concerns. 
I believe that Tve got the experience from being on the execu- 
tive of the Italian Club on campus, by serving as president and 
vice-president of my highschool of 2500 students in Mississauga, 
and also seizing on many student-teacher committees that dealt 
with the problems of the school boards within the city. Since 
this is a new position there is a lot more room for advice. So if 
Fm elected all your voices will be heard because culture is a 
very sensitive and important issue and we all have something 
we would like to share with the rest of the Laurentian commu- 
nity. So remember to vote because one vote could make a 
difference. 



Solomon 
Collm 



Cindy 
Henriques 



Hi, my name is Cindy 
Henriques and I am running for 
the position of Director of Cul- 
tural Affairs. I am a second year 
student at Laurentian, majoring in 
History and Native Studies. 

I am from a very diverse 
and varied multi-cultural back- 
ground. It is with experience from 
such a diverse background that I am applying for this position. 
However I realize that this position also requires administration skills 
which I learned for many years while working in office environments. 
In -1993 I volunteered as a participant for Youth Challenge 
International (YCI). With YCI I was placed to work in a forth world 
country in the South Pacific. Along with participants from Canada, 
Australia, New Zealand, Papua New Guinea, Guyana, and Costa Rica, 
I worked on projects such as education, construction, environmental 
research, and medical care. Over there I learned to work with and liaise 
between many different cultures. I also developed leadership skills, 
and the ability to work independently or as a member of a group. 
Working under extreme pressure is vital to development work (the 
ability to dodge a Boa Constrictor and continue on your path is very 
vital!), I am glad to say this is one of the skills I posses! After my 
placement I continued to volunteer with YCI on a local level. I was 
involved in setting up cultural events and fairs as well as public 
education. I am currently involved with the Canadian Cancer Society 
where I volunteer as a support worker. On campus I am actively 
involved in Laurentian University African & Carribbean Students 
Association, the Native Students Association, the International Stu- 
dents Committee, and the Laurentian Coalition for Social Justice. With 
the Native Students Association I am a representative to the Students 
General Association (SGA). With the SGA I work on the Constitu- 
tional, External, and Cultural committees. I have enjoyed my time at 
Laurentian, whether it be in the classroom, taking part in extra- 
curricular activities such as intramural soccer, or walking among the 
many trails. I hope to continue to be an active participant in school as 
the Director of Cultural Affairs. This pos!t1<5n has a great deal to otTer 
every student at Laurentian and I feel that I am capable of fulfilling the 
role successfully. Thanks for your time. 



Volume 35 * Issue 1 9 / Num^ro^ 4 9 • LAMBDA , 



Thursday, February 27 , 1997/Ie jeudi 27 fevrier 1997 




CL^Sm^ETt M)S 



SUMMER JOBS - Applications are now being accepted 
for summer jobs on cruiseships, airlines and resorts. No 
experience necessary. For more information, send $2 and a 
self-addressed stamped envelope to: Worldwide Travel Club, 
602 1 Yonge Street, Suite 1 040, Toronto, Ontario M2M 3 W2 

ADOPTION? PREGNANT? Warm, loving, infertile 
couple anxious to adopt and provide a home for your child. 
Legal and confidential. Call Mike/Donna collect at (416) 
261-9134. 

WORD PROCESSING, typing services. $15 original 
resume, $2 for additional copy. $2 per page for straight 
typing of essays, assignements, etc. Call Fineline Processing 
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1990 

TERM PAPERS, REPORTS, ETC. - Save time! 
Professional word processing and resume service at reason- 
able rates. Enquire about pick-up/delivery service! CallGail 
Ealdama at (705) 692-9400 Monday to Saturday 8:30am - 
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LSAT-MCAT-GMAT-GRE Prep Spring/summer 
classes are now forming. Course formats range from 20 to 80 
nours. 20 hour weekends are available for $195. Richardson 
-since 1979. www.prep.com or prep@istar.ca or 1-800-41 0- 
PREP 




students! VPVn) 
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Montreal, or Halifax only For airfares from other cities check with Travel CUTSA/oyages Campus. 



Blood Donor Clinic 
J.N. Desmarais Library - Rotunda 

12Noon-3:00pm 

Tuesday March 4 1997 

Coffee and Donutsfor Donors 




QIVEYOaRSELFflUFT. 
GIVE BLOOD THIS WINTER. 



+ 



The Canadian Red Cross Society 



Public Announcements 



Jobs, Jobs, Jobs 

The OPP has informed us that many of the officers hired in the mid to late 60s are now retiring and they need 

to replenish the ranks. The force is looking for 225 people this year and a similar number next year. To 

qualify, one must be a Canadian citizen, 18 years or older, mentally and physically fit, have NO criminal 

record, have a High School diploma, be fluent in English, meet the vision requirements, and be willing to 

work anywhere in Ontario. Applications can be obtained from any OPP detachment or by calling the unit in 

Orillia at (705) 329-6660. 

The summer is fast approaching. Those who are interested in finding a summer job must get their applications 

in as soon as possible. The Placement Centre has a number of summer job opportunities posted for the areas 

of Sudbury, Toronto, Ottawa and others. Make sure to check the board outside the office (2nd floor of the 

Parker Building) frequently or visit the LOCALNEWS group on the VAX 



Italian Fashion Show 

INCONTRI, the Laurentian University student Italian Club is proud to present La primavera shocciante 

(Spring in Bloom), a fashion show which will take place on Saturday, March 9, 1997 at the Caruso Club, 

Upper Hall. The cost is $10 for INCONTRI members and seniors and $12 for non-members. The doors will 

open at 6:00pm, refreshments will be served and the show will begin at 7:00pm. A dance will follow. The 

show and its theme, which took its inspiration from Botticelli's masterpiece, will be an interpretation of Italian 

culture through the means of music, clothing, dance and food. All models are amateurs and students of 

Laurentian University. The fashions displayed have generously been made available by local Sudbury 

merchants. 

Come out for an evening of dazzling entertainment and at the same time support the endeavours of Laurentian 
University students. For further information, call 675- 1151, ext. 4274, 675- 1 357, 524-0882 or 522-5 1 24. 



Diversity Beyond Numbers: C As of the future 

The student association of chartered accountants will be hosting an event with the theme of diversity in the 

field of chartered accountants. One of our main goals by hosting such a night will be to educate and break the 

stigma that Chartered Accountants are pencil pushers, dull and have no lives. We are planning an evening that 

consists of Live Jazz Entertainment, a cultural dinner buffet, talent show, fashion show (featuring traditional 

dress from across the globe), a moonlight dance and a guest speaker. Many dignitaries, media and the general 

public will be invited to join the organization for a night of fun and entertain. 
When: Friday, March 14, 1997. Where: Fraser Science II cafeteria Tickets: $10 members, $12 non-members 

Dress: Semi-formal 



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Therapeutic Touch 
Workshop 

On Thursday March 1 3 from 
6:00pm to 9:30pm, the LU Wom- 
en's Centre will be hosting a 
Therapeutic Touch Workshop for 
women in the Arboretum. For more 
information, call 675- 1151, ext. 
1089 if you have any questions, 
special needs, and/or to pre-register. 





Because things really 
are different 
DownUnder! 



Coming Soon!!! 



Saturday March 1st 

Freudz Couch live in the Pub, Win a pair of 
MetaUica concerts tickets, 

March 15th - Sons of Maxwell Live in the Pub 

March 20th - Great Concert Series, #3 featuring 
Great Big Sea 



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LAMBDA • Volume 35 Issue 19/ Num6ro 19 



IJIII 



'E0\£m^AI9^{'E^ 



by Mat Thompson 

Staff Writer 



It has finally happened. 
Every one of the Friends actors has 
rushed into a movie to try to make a 
little money off their fame. Sure, eve- 
ryone has their favourite Friend, but 
can they actually hack it in the reel 
world of movies? Until now, all I 
could answer was a resounding no, 
but Matthew Perry has proved he 
has some talent with his recently re- 
leased hit Fools Rush In. 

The name of Matthew's 
new movie should be taken to heart 
by the other cast members who rushed 
into some of the biggest pieces of 
film crap Hollywood has ever pro- 
duced. First Matt LeBlanc bombed 
with Ed, followed by David 



Friends Rush In 




Thursday, February 27, 1997 / le jeudi 27 fevrier 1997 



of great acting with a overly funny 
storyline. As for the other Friends' 
movies, do not be a fool, rush past 
these movies at all costs. Stick with a 
weekly dose of Must See TV, and 
maybe in a few years, the Friends 
will know how to pick a script that 
people will want to see. Or maybe 
they should just ask Matthew's opin- 
ion. He picked the only winner of the 
whole bunch (well, not including 
Marcel)! 



Schwimmer in The Pallbearer and 
Jennifer Aniston in She's The One, 



Lisa Kudrow and Courtney Cox 

opted for smaller roles in Mother and 




Attack of the Cheese 



by Mat Thompson 

Staff Writer 



One of the easiest places for 
you to find movies dripping with 
cheese is the horror section of your 
local video store. The horror section 
should actually be renamed the cheese 
section. This week's horror cheese 
comes from one of the most success- 
ful cheese shows ever created by 
HBO. 

Tales From The Crypt's 
Demon Knight is one of the strangest 
movies I have witnessed in a long 
time. I love watching the half hour 
shows every Saturday night, and was 
a little worried that with a feature 
length movie, they may change the 
style of Crypt. Thank God I was 
wrong. Demon Knight holds on to the 
campiness of its television predeces- 
sor and oozes the cheese needed to 
make Crypt entertaining. 

Demon Knight stars Billy 
Zane {The Phantom) as the evil Col- 
lector, who is in pursuit of William 
Sadler (Trespass) who holds an an- 
cient key which will unlock the de- 
mon legions from their slumber. 



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Sadler hides out in a hotel with a 
strange group of characters played by 
Jada Pinkett {Low Down Dirty 
Shame), Thomas Hayden Church 
{Wings), and CCH Pounder {ER). 
Using a vial of sacred blood, Sadler 
tries to seal off the hotel from the 
attack of the demons, butfails to fight 
the powers of the Collector. 

Sure, the story sounds 
strange, but you just have to see Billy 



Zane'sacting in this movie. 
The whole movie is basi- 
cally carried on his shoul- 
ders and he pulls it off per- 
fectly. The character of the 
Collector is one of the fun- 
niest, coolest, and cheesi- 
est horror characters to ever 
grace the screen. If there 
was some sort of awards 
that actually looked at hor- 
ror movies, Zane should 
have won best actor hands 
down. Another award 
should be given to the 
Crypt Keeper. Who ever 
created the character is a 
genius. The Keeper is hi- 
larious to watch and always 
ends the shows and movies 
with some hilarious words 
of wisdom from the other 
side. 

Demon Knight is 
the perfect horror movie to 
add to the already growing- 
slices of cinematic cheese. 
With its stellar cast thrown 
together from TV and bad movies to 
its special effects that could make 
you vomit, this movie should not be 
missed. Tales from the Crypt's De- 
mon Knight is a perfect laugh and 
scream cheese-fest. And if you are 
looking for more movies like this 
one, try Tales from the Crypt's 
Bordello of Blood or Army of Dark- 
ness. They'll scare the cheese right 
out of you! 



Scream, but neither are 
getting very good re- 
views. It seemed for 
the longest time that 
Marcel was the only 
true star with his im- 
portant role in Out- 
break. That was until 
Canadian raised Mat- 
t h e w 
Perry hit 
the thea- 
tres. 

The 
problem 
with the 
popularity 
of the 
Friends 
characters not transferring 
well to the big screen is 
that the public only wants 
to see Rachel, Ross, Joey, 
Chandler, Phoebe, and 
Monica. They don't want 
these characters to change 
and they get upset when 
they see their beloved 
Rachel in a movie where 
she complains that she has 
to use a vibraXor because 
her husband does not sat- 
isfy her. None of these actors took 
into consideration that they are not 
famous for who they are, but for who 
they play. 

In Fools Rush In, Matthew 
Perry plays a wise-cracking, cyni- 
cally funny single guy who works at 
a very well paying job. If you haven't 
figured it out yet, he plays Chandler, 
This is what everyone wants, and its 
a good thing he does it so well. The 
story follows Matthew and Salma 
Hayek (Desperado) who have a one 
night stand and end up having a baby . 
Sure it may sound like the typical 
weird romantic comedy, but it is bet- 
ter than most. The characters are very 
believable and funny and the story is 
just hilarious. It's almost unbeliev- 
able that this is the true story of the 
movies two writers. 

Fools Rush In is a great 
movie with a lot of laughs and a mix 




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Volume 35 • Issue 19/ Num^ro 19* LAMBDA 



Thursday, February 27 , 1997/le jeudi 27 fevrier 1997 



'Eih£rE!R!TJim{'EOtr 



LEND ME AN EAR 




Live - Secret 
Samadhi 

by Mat Thompson 

Stajf Writer 

This seems to be the year of 
the sophomore album. Bands Hke 
The Offspring, Our Lady Peace, and 
Sherry 1 Crow are out to prove to the 
world that they are not just single 
album flashes, burning out with just 
one album. One of these flashes I was 
dead wrong about was Live. I never 
thought they would be able to create 
another album with the same inten- 
sity and appeal as Throwing Copper, 
but I was dead wrong. 

Secret Samadhi to me is a 
major step up for the group from their 
past work. Lightnmg Crashes, Sell- 
ing the Drama, and I Alone were 
great songs to gain fame and atten- 
tion, but Live seems to have shed the 
altema-wanna-be sound and gained a 
more distinctive sound and style that 
will carry them well through their 
next albums. 

Lakini's Juice is the flrst 
single to be released from the album 
and is a good start. The song is not as 
strong as Ghost, Gas Hed Goes West, 
or Unsheathed, but it will surely gain 
the attention needed to release the 
other tracks. Turn My Head and Cen- 
tury are amazingly powerful songs 
reminiscent of Lightning Crashes 
(and they won't get as annoying). 



One song I was drawn to was Insom- 
nia and the Hole In The Universe, 
firstly by name alone (reminding me 
of the Pumpkins Mellon Collie and 
the Inflnite Sadness). The song has a 
strange, almost hypnotic feel to it, 
telling a story that many people will 
interpret their own way. 

With an album this good, I 
am glad to say I was wrong. Live is 
not a flash in the pan that just disap- 
pears after about a year or two (see 
No Doubt in 1998!!!). Even ifThrow- 
ing Copper was not your type of 
album, try Secret Samadhi, it will 
blow you away. With this much power 
behind this album, I can't wait for 
their third and fourth albums to ar- 
rive! 



Puppy, and Sonic Youth on it, but 

why change a good thing? TTiese 
bands are big in the alternative scene, 
and if they want to lend their music to 
a soundtrack, so be it! Since you can't 
record your own disk featuring the 
groups you want, its up to the sound- 
track business to do it for you. So fans 
of the above mentioned groups, along 
with The Flaming Lips, Elastica, 
Boss Hog, and Girls Against Boys, 
this is the soundtrack for you. 

As for the movie, I don't 
know how good it is going to be, but 
this is a great soundtrack. Fans of 
these groups should give this CD a 
listen to see if it lives up to its pred- 
ecessors like The Crow, Empire 
Records, and Big Shiny Tunes. In my 
opinion, this is a CD worth your time 
and money. 




VA - suburbia 
Soundtrack 

by Mat Thompson 

Staff Writer 

Well, another movie about 
Generation X slackers wasting their 
lives away has come out and it, of 
course, has a soundtrack mixing all 
the big bands of today together on 
one tiny disk. Even if you don't go 
see the movie subUrbia, the sound- 
track is worth picking up. 

Sure, almost any soundtrack 
that comes out today has bands like 
Butthole Surfers, Beck, Skinny 



Subconscious 
Communica- 
tions - Paradigm 

Shift 

by Mat Thompson 

Staff Writer 

I don't know how many of 
you know the story behind Subcon- 
scious Communications, so here's 
the quick run down. Subconscious is 
a Vancouver based record label 
started in 1993 by Dwayne Goettel 



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(former member of Skinny Puppy). 
After his death in 1995» Puppy 
bandmates kept up the operation of 
Subconscious along with other col- 
laborators and groups. 

Paradigm Shift is the label's 
tenth release, basically uniting many 
different bands' unre leased tracks on 
which Goettel himself appears. The 
album has been released as a tribute 
to the genius and talent that was taken 
from the Vancouver music scene so 
quickly. 

The album features all the 
labels contributors including aDuck, 
Dead Voices on Air, Download, 
Kone, and Plateau. I know I have 
trashed some of the bigger named 
bands in the past like The Tear Gar- 
den, but this album should be taken 
for what it is, an amazing tribute. The 
album is rounded off by some of the 
more popular Subconscious bands 
like Skinny Puppy, Philth, and Doubt- 
ing Thomas. 

For fans of these bands this 
album is worth the search. The songs 
are great and show the talent that can 
be compiled by a smaller Canadian 
record label. Paradigm Shift was 
meant as a title for one of Dwayne 
GoetteFs future works, but is now 
used ever so perfectly as a tribute to 
the past and future he has already 
created in the Canadian music indus- 
try. 




Rusty - 
Sophomoric 

by Mat Thompson 

St4^WriUr 

Unlike their first album, 
Rusty is out to show the world that 
they are no Fluke. With their 
sophomore album titled Sophomoric 
(oooh, original!!) Rusty is out to prove 
that they are one of the premiere 
bands to come out of Toronto in the 
past decade. 

After reading the band bio, 
these guys are the perfect young Ca- 
nadian band. According to bassist 
Jim Moore they love to sit around and 
watch television and movies, espe- 
cially reality based mini-series' star- 
ring someone from 902 1 0. The first 
release from the album titled Empty 
Cell is based on one such made for 



TV movie. Its a catchy song with a 
sound like Sloan or Oasis. 

The whole album seems to 
have many different musical under- 
tones. There is the definite hip, alter- 
native sound, but many songs seem 
to have a strong base, in seventies 
guitar rock. It's kind of like the Dazed 
and Confused Soundtrack set in the 
90' s. Another sound that pops up 
once in a while is a very country-ish 
way of playing. I don't know if it's 
intentional, or even a complement to 
say so, but that feeling comes out of 
at least three of the songs. 

Rusty 's popularity has be- 
come stronger as the days go by. 
With two albums out and even a song 
on the soundtrack forHard Core Logo, 
I believe Rusty has made a place for 
themselves in Canadian music. 
Sophomoric is an album worth pick- 
ing up while waiting for a live show 
by Rusty hopefully playing some- 
where near by in the near future. 

MudGirl— F/rsf 
Book 

by Jodi Hewston 

Contributor 

Picture Sugar, the now-de- 
funct pop-core supergroup headed 
by Bob Mould. Now picture Sugar 
with a female singer. Now picture 
Sugar, with a female singer, covering 
songs from the 80's. That's MudGirl. 
Like Sugar, MudGirl has a knack for 
creating songs that get into your head 
and won't leave; this 5 song E.P., 
First Book is full of memorable pop 
songs, none catchier than the others - 
there are no stand-outs. With First 
Book MudGirl has created a sort of 
challenge for other altema-pop bands 
to meet. Unlike, say, Pluto — whose 
songs all sound eerily alike — 
MudGirl's music is diverse. 
MudGirl 's music is diverse. Unlike, 
say. Oasis, MudGirl's songs are not 
nauseously self-indulgent. And un- 
like that girl from Elastica, 
MudGiri's Kim Bingham can sing! 
(she 's a welcome change from Hole's 
screaming Courtney Love.). Her 
voice is beautiful and mixes extremely 
well with the music on the album. 
Bands with such a firm grasp on their 
pop sensibilities are few and far be- 
tween — most end up sounding 
cheesy — but MudGirl joins an elite 
group who understands what goes 
into a good pop album. Mudgirl's 
First Book is strongly recommended, 
especially to fans of Limblifter, 
Weezer, Venica Salt, Cold Motor 
Rodent and super Garage. If you're 
not a fan pi any of those bands, pick 
up MudGirl anyway — they might 
just turn you on to something new. 



LAMBDA- • Volume 35 issue 19 / Nurrr^ro 19 



0^WS/OiPI9{IO!AC 



Thursday, February 27, 1997 /le jeudi 27 fevrier 1997 



Enter Stage Right 



by Gord Gekko 

Columnist 



Surprisingly, the SGA never 
fails to amaze me. Four years at Lau- 
rentian should have inured me to the 
machinations of the Student General 
Association, but to their credit they 
always come up with a different way 
to make me happy that I gave up my 
membership in my third year. 

The latest derangement came 
while I was reading the "newspaper*' 
The Northern Life, which proudly 
carried the second page headline '*Stu- 
dent leaders ask president to close 
university for protest." 

Undoubtedly, you heard that 
some in the community want to hold 
a "Celebration of Resistance" on 
March 21 and 22 to protest the poli- 
tics of the Harris government. The 
so-called celebration does bring up 
the question of ethics, but none so 
blatant as those raised by the actions 
of the SGA. 

In case you are unaware, the 
SGA has sent a letter to the university 
president Ross Paul asking him to 
close the university on Friday, March 
21 so students and staff can wave 
signs and chant slogans. According 
to the article, negotiations have even 
begun with the faculty and staff un- 
ions to "bring them on their side." 



While one could question 
whether the SGA has the mandate to 
represent all the students as "resis- 
tors" to the Harris agenda, since the 
SGA does take money from those 
students who do support that agenda, 
that still is not the main issue. What is 
at issue is whether our young radicals 
have the right to deprive others of 
education, ostensibly the main rea- 
son why people go to Laurentian. 

Does the SGA have the right 
to impose their agenda on all stu- 
dents? Students who wish to play 
hooky and march around the city for 
one cause or another to have the abil- 
ity to leave the school at any time 
they wish, and do not cause any harm 
to those who do not want to protest. 

The SGA shows the bank- 
ruptcy of its, and the "resistors", ide- 
ology by calling for the shutdown. 
The left, which is where I personally 
believe where the core beliefs of the 
SGA council resides, fundamentally 
believes that they have the right to 
impose on anyone they wish if they 
believe it will further their cause. 
Don't believe the Harris agenda? 
Make sure anyone suffers for it. Sim- 
ply presuppose that you have the right 
to infringe on the human rights of 
others to achieve whatever ends you 
want. 

Are "students firmly behind" 
this idea as the article states Tannys 
Laughren believes? I suppose she has 
as much evidence as I do what the 



student body believes. But her argu- 
ment resides in the fallacy of believ- 
ing if the majority believes some- 
thing, then all do. Even if the major- 
ity of students want a long hoi iday for 
the celebration, they do not have the 
right to infringe on the students who 
want to be educated. 

And the faculty? The faculty 
are public servants who have a moral 
obligation to show up for work and 
do what they are paid for, which is to 
provide education, not air their po- 
litical views out of context. I suspect 
though, that a certain man who ap- 
parently has some history of activism 
himself will allow the faculty and 
staff to "call in sick" that day, effec- 
tively giving in. 

The SGA has no right to force 
their political views on the campus 
community as a whole. Their call for 
a shutdown shows the moral 
bancruptcy of a council who has the 
ability to issue political pronounce- 
ments, but for years have timidly 
ignored truly pressing problems at 
Laurentian, such as professors who 
have no right to be teaching or ad- 
dressing the rampant apathy, created 
in part by that very council. 

The SGA should give up on 
its plan to infringe on people's rights. 
Students who want to protest are cer- 
tainly free to. Staff and faculty who 
don't show up should face appropri- 
ate sanctions. Laurentian 's role, as a 
publicly owned institution, is to do 



The Amiable Librarian 



This column is based on ques- 
tions and suggestions received by 
staff members of the Desmarais Li- 
brary either personally or on the 
"Compliments / Questions / Sugges- 
tions" form that may be filled out 
near the exit of the library. 

Question: I would like to know why 
the student body is not automatically 
registered to use the library services 
when the register for the school year. 
It seems an immense waste of time 
and paper to register separately the 
first time a book is s^igned ppt that 
year.. The University of Toronto 
changed their system about 6-7 years 
ago so that a student who is properly 
registered for the year is automati- 
cally registered for tlie library. 

Reply: You are absolutely right. This 
University has not yet been able to 
create a workable handshake between 
the registrar's files and the library's. 
That said, Laurentian (in concert with 
Lakehead and Trent Universities) has 
apparently has just purchased a new 
Student Information System, due to 
be rolled out next fall, that will re- 
solve the very problem you have iden- 
tified. ' 

In preparation for that move, 
you may have noticed that this year 
your student card number now serves 
as the basis of your patron number in 
the library;the student card may also 
be used as a photocopy card. If you 
are still shelling out a loonie for the 
old blue and white photocopy card, 
you need do this no more since an 
amount for photocopying can be 
added to your student card. 

Question: As a faculty member, I'm 



privileged to take out library books 
for four months and in the past year, 
the library has been kind enough to 
send me memos about books that are 
almost due. This is much appreciated 
because ofmy busy schedule. Could 
we please continue the practice? 

Reply: No, not to put the matter to 
ungraciously. The reason for this 
change in library practice is twofold. 
First, as you may have noticed, li- 
brary staff numbers were reduced 
last year in budget cuts, and overdue 
notices was one service that had to 
go. Second, you, like everyone else, 
can check when your books are due 
using the loans module. On the VAX, 
at the $ prompt, just type loans, and 
once you select the Desmarais Li- 
brary, you will be automatically con- 
nected to a menu that allows you not 
only to check what you have out, but 
also to renew your books (once) as 
well as to place holds. In your case, 
you may do this from the comfort of 
you office. If you need specific in- 
struction on what to do, pick up the 
library's brochure "Do It Yourself 
(althoughacopy of this brochure was 
mailed to every faculty member last 
fall and it might be in the file you 
hopefully have set up under LI- 
BRARY) 

Question: I was wondering why 
many of the books in the nursing 
section are in excess of 3 or 4 copies. 
In many other disciplines, we only 
get one copy of each book, so the 
prof, must put it on reserve so every- 
one has a fair chance. 

Reply: Shrewd observation. The li- 
brary's general policy is to purchase 



one copy of each title, not several. In 
the case of nursing, the program has 
been offered simultaneously at sev- 
eral sites off campus and in those 
instances, the library purchased more 
than one copy of a title. 

Question: I find that the university 
calendars for Canadian universities, 
especially graduate calendars, are 
missing in the library; and many of 
the ones still here are outdated. I 
think it would be beneficial to stu- 
dents to access Ontario university 
calendars for graduate study. 

Reply: Some universities have 
stopped sending us calendars because 
of the cost; other because they have 
made them available on the WWW. 
In still other instances, the calendars 
we have, have been removed from 
the library. For the moment, the 
Counseling and Resource Centre 
(L210) has a more complete collec- 
tion than the library's, and you are 
always welcome to consult it. For 
more information, please contact Dr. 
Paddy Blenkinsop, ext. 1030, 





what it was created to do, not encour- 
age the violation of rights. 

But then again would the left 
have qualms about infringing on oth- 
ers? No need to set a precedent on 
that regards. All the SGA wants is to 
make sure all students show up to 
their Two Days Of Hate so that they 
may shrilly scream at their version of 
Emmanuel Goldstein... awJlook good 
for the cameras. 



I have been rather busy the 



last few months with a new project so 
I haven't had a chance to write Enter 
Stage Right as often as I wanted to, I 
know some have asked where it's 
been. Since we don't want Mr. Marks 
to be alone, you'll see more of this 
column. 

The web version of Enter 
Stage Right has been doing remark- 
able. If you want to read some great 
stuff about conservatism from a de- 
cidedly unorthodox perspective from 
people across North America, visit 
Enter Stage Right at http:// 
esr.cy bercafe.com . 






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Thursday, February 27 , 1997/le jeudi 27 fevrier 1997 

Straight Shooters 

by Glam O. Rous 

Contributor 

In the last 7 seasons, 
Beverly Hills, 90210 has fre- 
quently toyed with addictions in 
its plotlines. Kelly took diet 
pills for an episode or two as 
well as last seasons bout with 
cocaine. Valerie used marijuana 
when she first appeared on the 
Bcv Hills scene and she even 
tried to turn Dylan back to drug 
use. Dylan, of course, was al- 
ready an alcoholic. Troubled 
David was addicted to crystal 
nieth in the first "College Years" 
season. Even straight arrow 
Brandon was addicted to gam- 
bling. The main critique of these 
plotlines is the fact that once 
another member of the Peach 
Pit crowd discovers the prob- 
lem, the addict promptly gets 
help and in one week, the problem is solved. 

Most recently, Steve has been using marijuana which was intro- 
duced to him by his new buddy Dick. In last night's episode (Monday, Feb 
24th or Wednesday, Feb 26th), Dick tries to convince Steve to try heroin. 
Steve is a little nei^^ous, but agrees to try it later since it is the night before 
a big 3-on-3 basketball game, Steve asks that Dick, **save some for him." At 
the end of the evening, Steve finds Dick unconscious in the bathroom of the 
After Dark. Help is called in but the bigwigs at BH 90210 kill off the 
character of Dick anyway. This is a rather unprecedented move since no 
other character has died as a result of his ot her addiction. Finally, an 
addiction problem that is not cleared up in the allotted air time in a nice neat 
package. 

Near the end of the show, a group of people gather outside the After 
Dark with candles and flowers and pictures of Dick. Steve and Brandon pull 
up and notice a bong amidst the shrine. It is then that Steve delivers his 
greatest lines in seven years. He says, **Let's not make this cool. This isn't 
cool, this IS stupid. I know what I was talking about. Fm alive because Dick 
died first." 

I must admit, I was rather impressed by Monday/Wednesday 
night's episode. As far as I can remember, only four people have been killed 
off BH: the gccky kid in the first season who shot himself, Dylan's father who 
was blown up by the mob, Dylan's wife who was shot by the mob and now 
Dick. I will admit, I cried more during the funeral for Dylan's wife but it may 
have been because Luke Perry was leaving the show. This most recent 
episode was thought provoking and unusually real. (OK, so Steve's 
addiction to marijuana has suddenly disappeared, but it is realistic to think 
that since a close friend OD'd, he would be scared straight.) Still, people OD 
and that's a fact. It was rather nice to see the glammy show finally deal with 
an issue more serious than "what colour will Tory Spelling's hair be?" 



!ES!ISSSS!!B5BB5B!!SSS 



(tit 




Betsy vs The Millennium Falcon 




Many faithful Lambda readers may 
remember my earlier article titled 
''Betsy and Me," In keeping with the 
spirit of Star Wars, I have decided to 
compare my WonderMobile with 
Han Solo's Falcon. Here's how they 
fare. 

1 . Han Solo won the Falcon in a card 
game with Lando Calrisian. My 
mother and I have played cards to- 
gether. 

Sometimes Betsy has problems 
jumping to light speed. 

3. Ifmybrother'shairgets any longer, 
he could be mistaken for a Wookie. 
He drives Betsy sometimes, as 
Chewie sometimes pilots the Fal- 
con. 

4. Han Solo maneuvers the Falcon 
through an asteroid field. Have you ev 
the Pit? Betsy has. 

5. The original toy model of the 
Millennium Falcon is worth about 
$150.00. Surprisingly, so is Betsy. 



MARRIED/MATURE STUDENT RESIDENCE (MSR) 

MSR IS NOW ACCEPTING 
APPLICATIONS 

FOR THE I 9Q7/98 ACADEMIC SCHOOL YEAR. 

MSR CONTAINS FURNISHED AND UNFURNISHED ONE BEDROOM APARTMEhTrS. 

ELECTRICITY. BASIC CABLE TV. HEAT AND WATER ARE INCLUDED IN THE RENT. 

A LIMITED NUMBER OF APARTMENTTS ARE AVAILABLE TO 4TH YEAR STUDENTS TO SHARE 
WITH ANOTHER STUDENT. A BED, DRESSER. DESK. AND CHAIR ARE PROVIDED FOR EACH 

RESIDENT. 

THE UPPER FLOORS ARE RESERVED FOR MARRIED STUDEhTTS AND THEIR SPOUSES. 
COHABITANTS AS WELL AS MATURE (24 YEARS OF AGE) AND GRADUATE STUDENTS 

THESE APARTMENTS ARE UNFURNISHED. 

APPLICATIONS AVAILABLE AT: 

THE DIRECTOR OF SERVICES 

Gil. STUDENT STREET 

(705) 675- 115 1 EXT 3005 

ATTENTION: GINETTE 

\nOTE: NO PETS ARE ALLOWED. AND 24 HOUR QUIET HOURS ARE IN EFFECT 7 DAYS A 
WEEK. 



You Heard It 
Here First... 



Here is something that every 
Simpsons fan should know about. A 
new album called "Songs In The 
Key Of Springfield: Original Mu- 
sic From the Television Series" 
will be released very shortly on Rhino 
records. All of your favourite hits 
like "Who Needs the Kwik-E- 
Mart" and "Senor Burns" by Tito 
Puente and His Latin Jazz Ensemble 
are on this compilation of hits. Watch 
for it! It is a necessity for any 
Simpsons fan and will be a nice 
chnage from "Simpsons Sing the 
Blues". We can stop asking people 
to "Do The Bartman." 




POETRY CORNER 



When We 
Finally Happen 

The first time I saw you, 

I immediately knew, 

That I had no need for wishes. 

You had already come true. 

I couldn't help but stare, 

At your eyes, your smile, your 

hair, 

Life just wouldn't be fair, 

If we didn't happen. 



We've become special 

friends, 

But is this where it ends? 

I don't know how to tell. 

If this is real or pretend. 

Its the scent I can't ignore, 

From my shirt that you once 

wore. 

What will love have in store. 

When we finally happen? 

Time will never erase. 

The lines that form your face. 

In my mind, like in my heart, 

You hold a very special place, 

I hope that fate will have the 

grace 

To let us happen. 

To: P 

Love: S 



Defiance 

You wait to see me break 

And be gone before I fall 

Slap me, beat me, while you 

can 

It won't hurt me at all 

I am the caretaker of my 

dreams 

And owner of my thoughts 

My destiny lies in my hands 

Not in the despair you've 

brought 

Your cold winds make me 

shiver 

But do not freeze my soul 

I will not go without a fight 

Even if I lose control 

You say others have tried and 

failed 

Well I am not like them 

I have seen behind your mask 

I know that I can win 

So take your facts and take 
your fiction 

And get them out of my face 
Your reign over me has ended 
I am the ruler of this place. 
Jes. 



LAMBDA • Volume 35 Issue 19/ Num6ro 19 



io\[j*L%n:m9{Mi:9{'T 



Thursday, February 27, 1997/le jeudi 27 fevrier 1997 



Critic In The Booi^shelves 



by Mat Thompson 

Staff Writer 



Well, it seems to be the new 
fad in the book stores over the past 
year. The serial novel has come back 
into print and has sent readers back 
to the store every month for the con- 
tinuation of their newest stories. 

It all started last year with 
Stephen King's Green Mile novels. 
The story follows the lives of work- 
ers in on Death Row who receive a 
new inmate with some special pow- 
ers. The story is interesting and fol- 
lows different inmates' and workers' 
stories who are all entwined with the 
main story of the guilt or innocence 
or Coffey, the new inmate with spe- 
cial healing powers even he does not 
understand himself. 

The Green Mile is interest- 
ing, but not the type of story you 
would expect from the king of horror. 
The story has its weird elements, but 
goes the way of a cheap version of 
The Shawshank Redemption and 
no where near the horror of The Shin- 




ing. King does prove that he can 
write different styles, but I don 't think 
people will enjoy these novels as 
much as his past work. 

The newest author to start on 
the serial novel craze is horror novel- 
ist John Saul. The Blackstone 
Chronicles is now on its second of 



six parts and is far superior to 
those of Stephen King, The 
story follows the destruction 
of an insane asylum and an 
unknown visitor who sends 
gifts to the prominent families 
of the town as revenge for a yet 
unknown past occurrence. This 
story has the horror and grue- 
some elements you would ex- 
pect from a horror novelist. 
John Saul has not reached the 
level of King, but his novels to 
me are superior to that of King. 
Many people may not like the 
idea of a serial novel, but it 
does grow on you . I did think at 
first it was a stupid idea, but 
now I love it. It's great to get so 
involved in a story, then all of 
a sudden it ends and you have 
to wait. The suspense helps the 
story along and builds it as a 
much stronger storyline. If you are 
out to find a new style of novel to 
read, I highly recommend the serial 
novel. So far all there is out there is 
The Green Mile and The Blackstone 
Chronicles, but hopefully there will 
be more authors with the guts to try 
this style. 



Jacques Prevert: 
"II n'y a plus d'enfant... 



II 



par Carine Schlup 

Journaliste 



Pour toutes les personnes qui 
en ont mare de I'hiver et qui 
recherchent un divertissement 
exeptionel, j'ai une tres bonne 
nouvelle pour vous: la troupe de 
Tuniversite Laurentienne nous 
revient! 

Pour les connaisseurs de cet 
evenement, je peux vous garantir 
qu'une annee d 'absence n'arien enleve 
de la qualite de cette presentation. 

Cette annee encore un groupe 




N I V K R S 1 T ll 

AORENTIKNNE 



de jeunes a dedie son coeur a la 
creation de ce spectacle intitule: 
Jacques Prevert "il n'y a plus 



d'enfants..". 

Je pourrais vous parler des 
differentes creations, des effets 
speciaux, de I'humour, et de la tristesse 
qui se trouve dans cette piece de 
theatre mais tout cela ne representerait 
que I'aperitif du menu total. 

Ne laissez personne gacher 
votre soiree d'amusement et de 
detente; venez nous voir du 5 au 8 
mars 1997 a 20h30 a 1' Auditorium 
Alphonse Raymond, a I'Universite 



Laurentiei 



^ 



What The Fuck?!? 



It's back! ! ! Everyone's favorite section filled with 
all the stupid questions you were afraid to ask.,, until now! 
Here goes, and remember, if you have anything you want 
to know, drop off your personal What The Fuck questions 
to Lambda and we will be sure to use them in the future. 

1 . If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with 
soap? 

2. If a person with multiple personalities threatens to kill 
themselves, is it considered a hostage situation? 

3. Is there another word for synonym? 

4. Does it make you nervous that doctors call what theydo 
"practice"? 

5. If a sign maker goes on strike, is there anything written 
on their signs? 

6. When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one to 
be thrown away? 

7. Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food? 

8. Why do they report power outages on TV? 

9. Is it possible to be totally partial? 

10. What is another word for thesaurus? 

1 1 . If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? 

12. Is a fly without wings called a walk? 

13. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they 
afraid someone might clean them? 

1 4. Why do people that know the least know it the loudest? 

15. If a turtle loses his shell, is he homeless or naked? 

16. When it rains, why don*t sheep shrink? 

17. Can a vegetarian eat animal crackers? 

18. Why is the word abbreviation so long? 

19. What do Styrofoam companies pack their shipments 
in? 

20. If a mime is arrested, does he have the right to remain 
silent? 



This Week At Cinefest 

Check out the March schedule for Cinescreen at the City Centre 
Cinemas every night at 7:00pm. A lot of the movies coming up are the ones 
we have been waiting to see. The movies are only $6.00 a person and worth 
checking out. 

Friday, Feb. 28 to Sunday, Mar. 2 
It's finally here! Michael Collins starring Liam Neeson came and went so 
fast that no one even saw it. This film about Irish revolutionary Michael 
Collins has been talked about as being one of the must see movies of the year! 
Sure, it was snubbed at the Oscars, but it is worth seeing. 

March 3 & 4 (Monday and Tuesday) 
Caught. A strange movie about the love affair between a drifter and his boss' 
wife. The movie stars Edward James Olmos and Maria Conchita Alonso. The 
end sequence is great and will haunt you for a long time after. 

March 5 & 6 (Wednesday and Thursday) 
Oscar winner Kevin Spacey has entered the directing worid with Albino 
Alligator. It's a cool crime drama about gangsters and their hostages. The 
movie stars Matt Dillon and Gary Sinise. 

March 7 to 9 (Friday to Sunday) 
This is probably one of the funniest movies of the year! Albert Brooks' 
Mother stars Debbi Renolds as one of the funniest mothers you will ever 
come across. Trust us, this is one movie that should not be missed. 

Also coming this month from Cinefest: 
Scream (Neve Campbell) - March 10 to 13 
The Whole Wide World (Renee Zellweger) - March 14 to 16 
The Crucible (Winona Ryder) - March 20 to 22 
Hotel de Love - March 28 to 30 





there 

are 

lilYlit^S ^ |Cj 



Volume 35 • Issue 19 / Num^ro 19* LAMBDA 



Thursday, February 27 , 1997/le jeudi 27 fevrier 1997 



T,L%CTiaJtSUm>LfEM'E9sl^ 



PRESIDENT 



^'■'.>''f':- -^^ 




Andrew Bell 




Post- secondary education in Ontario is 
undergoing dramatic changes and students at Lau- 
rentian are facing unprecedented challenges. We 
students need to be strongly represented in the 
critical decisions that are being made. My name is 
Andrew Bell and I will give you, as members of the 
S.G. A., the representation you expect and deserve. 

Durmg my four years at Laurentian I 
have actively supported the student community. It 
is through my extensive participation in student 
politics that I have been able to understand how to 
deal with the issues that affect S.G. A. members. 

I am presently serving as President of 
S ingle Student Residence Council, a position which 

has broadened my personal, organizational, and communication skills. These are all skills 
which are an asset to the position of S.G. A. President. 

In the coming year, a period of tough changes to education, the S.G.A. must firmly 
represent the best interests of its members. These changes have resulted in university 
restructuring and rising tuition costs and have a direct effect on students. Challenges I Will 
tackle as President include internal issues such as campus diversity, S.G.A. relations with 
other university organizations, and the openness of the S.G.A. I will fight to ensure that the 
services which Laurentian provides on campus are here to serve you, and I will work hard to 
improve them. My experience in student politics will allow me to meet these challenges head 
on. 

On March 5th and 6th, vote for strong, effective, active and fair leadership; vote 
Andrew Bell for S.G.A. President. 



Mike Grube 




Good day fellow Laurentian students. I would 
like to thank you for the opportunity this year to serve 
as your President. It has been a very busy and hectic 
year but also extremely gratifying. It has been such 
as positive experience that at this time I would like to 
declare my candidacy for the same position (Presi- 
dent) for the 1997-98 academic year. 

The things that I have learnt this past year will 
allow my to represent the students of Laurentian more 
effectively in the future. This is a very interesting and 
troublesome time for students all across the country 
as funding for Post Secondary Education changes. 
Students now more than ever need and deserve a 
strong voice. I believe that my experience with the 
SGA and Laurentian over the last four years will enable me to be that voice. 

As you know, the administration at Laurentian at times does not seem student friendly. 
During the last four years I obtained the knowledge of Laurentian 's infrastructure that is an 
advantage when dealing with LU's administration. Laurentian is changing as we speak in 
response to the government cuts and will continue to change in the coming months and years. 
Presently the University is restructuring its faculty model. At the December Senate meeting a 
motion passed for the reconfiguration of the faculties from the present four faculties to two 
faculties. At the same time, one of the many committees that I sit on is looking at Senate 
composition. These are major changes Laurentian is going through, which we have not seen 
since the formation of Laurentian some 37 years ago. More student representatives and more 
options for students are goals that I have for both of these projects. With the right representation 
I believe that these goals are attainable. 

It is very easy to become trapped in the bureaucratic structure of a University, 
particularly as a student President, but I believe that I have done a good job avoiding this pitfall. 
In conjunction with the 20 - 30 committees that I presently sit on representing students there 
were other projects that I have completed. These include the SGA Guide to Academic Appeals, 
Free Legal Aid available in the SGA office, and Underage Policy for the Pub DownUnder, SGA 
Professor/Course Evaluations, a historic agreement between the NSA and the SGA, and on 
numerous occasions representing students on academic appeals. 

Remember the candidate speeches are on February 27 in the Science cafeteria and on 
March 3 in the Great Hall. On March 5 & 6 VOTE TO RE-ELECT MIKE GRUBE AS SGA 
PRESIDENT. Thank you for your time and consideration. 




ELECTIONS GENERALES 

auront lieu 

mercredi le 5 mars 1997 

et 

jeudi le 6 mars 1997 

9hal9h30 



Les bureaux de scrutin seront situes aux endroits suivants 
pendant les deux jours. Assurez-vous de vous rendre au 
bureau indique sur votre carte d'electeur: 
Rue des etudiants 



Grand salon 
Cafeteria de redifice 
des sciences 
Thorneloe 

Universite de Sudbury 
Huntington 

vous devez presenter votre CARTE D'ETUDIANT 
pour pouvoir voter 



debat des candidats 

seront le 27 fevrier a 1 1h30 a la 

cafeteria de Tedifice des sciences 

et le 3 mars a 1 1 hSO au 

Grand Salon 




SECRETAIRES DE BUREAU DE VOTE RECHERCHES UAGEi 

a besoin de secretaires de bureau de vote pour aider le DGE ■ 

I le 5 et 6 mars/97, $7.00 de I'heure, s'il vous plait, donner votre ■ 

I nom au bureau de I'AGE avant le 28 fevrier, 1 997 ! 



GENERAL ELECTIONS 

held 

Wednesday March 5 

to 

Thursday March 6/97 from 

9:00 am to 7:30 pm 



Polling booths will be at th e following locations, during these two days. 
Make sure to go to the polling booth listed on your polling card: 
Student Street 



Great Hall 
Science Cafeteria 
Thorneloe 

University of Sudbury 
Huntington 



CANDIDATE SPEECHES 

on February 27 at 11:30 am in 
Science Cafeteria and 
March 3 at 11:30 am in 
The Great Hall 



STUDENT ID IS REQUIRED IN ORDER TO VOTE 



POLL CLERKS REQUIRED 

for t±ie SGA Elections on Viarch 5 & 6 $7.00/hour. 

Contact the SGA office for more information 

by Feb. 28/97 






LAMBDA • Volume 35 Issue 19/ Num^ro 19 



-' 




Thursday, February 27, 1997 / le jeudi 27 fevrier 1997 



Lady Vees OWIAA's a Success 



by Phillip Hadley 

Staff Writer 



Our Lady Vees swim team 
finished their OWIAA conference 
championships for the 96-97 season 
on a high note. Our Vees placed sixth 
overall out of fourteen competing 
teams from Ontario universities, com- 
pleting their best fmish ever. Andrea 
Nicholls and Co-captain Angela Lilly 
have qualified for the CIAU champi- 
onships this week. At the CIAU 
championships they will face Cana- 
da's and some of the world's top 
swimmers. Good luck Ladies. 

Andrea Nicholls proved that 
hard work and consistency do pay- 
off. Nicholls earned her CIAU quali- 
fying time in the 400individual med- 
ley during fmals where she placed 
fifth overall. Having missed the tough 
qualifying standard by only tenths of 
a second in morning preliminaries, 
Andrea dug down deep at night to 
scrape under the time. Andrea con- 
tinued her great results in the 200 
backstroke, placing sixth. Again 
Nicholls came close to qualifying for 
the university championships, com- 



ing within tenths of a second in both 
the heats and preliminaries of the 
backstroke. Earning more points for 
the team, Andrea finished second in 
the consolation final of the 400 free- 
style. 

Co-Captain Angela Lilly 
didn't have quite the meet she was 
working towards but still swam tough 
and with spirit to score valuable points 
for the team. Lilly had already quali- 
fied for the CIAU championships in 
November at a meet in Toronto, she 
came through and placed eighth in 
the 200 individual medley, and in the 
consolation finals placed second in 
the 200 back, seventh in the 100 free 
and eighth in the 200 individual med- 
ley. Angela is set to go this week-end 
in Toronto and it's my prediction that 
Andrea and Angela will have a grand 
meet. 

While we may not have big 
stars on our team who win every 
event, we proved we have depth and 
toughness; the 4x200 free relay con- 
sisting of Angela Lilly, Andrea 
Nicholls, Cynthia Vincze and 
Stephanie McMahon, placed sixth 
overall. The 4x100 free team of 
Angela Lilly, Stephanie McMahon, 
Cynthia Vincze and Kristin Sturgis, 
placing eighth. Our Ladies continued 



winning points in the 4xl00medley 
relay, placing eleventh with the team 
of Mary Popp, Jenn Bromley, 
Stephanie McMahon and Cynthia 
Vincze. Kristin Sturgis, Tara Aloisi, 
Angela Lilly and Mary Popp turned 
in a thirteenth placing in the 4x50free 
relay. 

Cynthia Vincze and Stephanie 
McMahon missed qualifying times 
this year for CIAU champs, but will 
certainly be there next year. Cynthia 
placed fifth in the consolation 200free 
and sixth in the lOOfree. Stephanie 
McMahon was two steps away from 
finals in her specialty, placing sec- 
ond in consols of 50 fly, sixth in the 
200 free. Our Ladies continued to do 
well in the sprints. Mary Popp fin- 
ished fourth in the consols and Jenn 
Bromley swam to eighth inher consol 
final. Team Co-captain Pam 
Hutchinson, who should be at next 
years' CIAU champs, placed sixth in 
the 200 fly consols. 

Fortunately, our Lady Vees 
are not losing any of our swimmers to 
graduation. Widi new recruits and 
building on the success of this year, 
our Lady Vees should push through 
to an even better finish next year - 
you can bet on it. 



Intramural Update 



by Catherine Koehler 

Contributor 

3 on 3 Basketball 

What's going on Laurentian?!? 3 on 3 Basketball is still not full. We need more teams for this usually very 
popular event to run. So get some friends together (3 guys or 3 girls) and strut your stuff on the court. For more 
information please contact the Active Living office at 675-1 151 ext. 1018. 

Hockey 

The womens' intramural hockey season is wrapping up. The action has been fast and furious. It is rumored 
that the convenors have something special in the works for the end of die season, so hockey players keep your eyes 
open for more announcements. 

Volleyball 

Volleyball is in its' third week and going smooth. There is some great talent out there so come and cheer on 
your teams Tuesday and Thursday nights. 



Molson's Athletes 
of the Week 

February 9, 1997 

Male Athlete - Shawn Swords, Basketball 

Shawn Swords is a fifth year economics student from Ottawa. Swords 

led the voyageurs to victories over Bishop *s and Laval. Although he 

averaged eleven points in the two wins his greatest contribution was his 

tenacious defense and offensive creativity . The team captain has helped 

the Voyageurs extend their league unbeaten streak to 1 4 games, 

Femak Athlete - Shauna Conway, Basketball 
Shauna Conway is a first year physical education student from Sault 
Ste. Marie. Conway scored sbtteen points in the Lady Vees victory over 
Laval on Sunday. In addition to contributing to the scoring cause 
Shauna added solid rebounding and strong defense. Conway's excep- 
tional play helped the Lady Vees move their league record to 10 -4. 
February 16, 1997 

Male Athlete - Brad Johnson 

Brad Johnson is a fourth year commerce student at Laurentian 
University. A co*captain of die Laurentian swim team, Johnson led the 
team to a fourth place finish at the OUAA championships. Claiming 
gold medals in the 50 free, 100 free and 100 fly as well as a silver in die 
50 fly Johnson was named athlete of the meet. Johnson's outstanding 
performance has earned him Laurentian *s Molson male athlete of the 
week honours. 

Female Athlete - Shelley Dewar 

Shelley Dewar is a third year physical education student at Laurentian. 
A Guard on the Lady Vees Basketball team and native of Sudbury, 
Shelley averaged eight points and four rebounds as the Lady Vees made 
the tough Montreal road-trip, Dewar' s deadly outside touch will be 
counted on as the Lady Vees prepare for the drive to the playoffs. 
Shelley *s performance on the court has earned her Laurentian *s female 
athlete of the week honours. 

February 23, 1997 

Male Athlete - Gary Roach 

Gary is a first year arts student from Sault Ste. Marie. Gary had 4 assists 
in a 9-0 romp over Ryerson and added a goal and an assist in a 6-2 
victory over Brock. Roach will be counted on to continue his solid play 
as the Voyageurs battle Brock on Wednesday in a playoff match-up. 

Female Athlete - Diane Carlsson 

Diane Carlsson is a fifdi year master of science student at Laurentian. 
In the OWIAA Championships EHane finished third in the women*s 
skate. Carlsson was also 7th in the Womens* classic event. Her 
outstanding results earned her a spot on die OW all-star team. 



GO SEE THE VEES 
THIS WEEKEND!!! 



mMi 



Upcoming Events 

Sudbury to host National Midget Hockey Championships 

The Northern Ontario Hockey Association has been awarded the Air 
Canada Tournament '98. The host association will be die Sudbury Minor 
Hockey Association with all games being played at the Sudbury Arena. 

This is a prestigious national midget hockey championship as it will 
feature the top midget aged players from the East Coast to die Pacific Coast. 
Of Course the Sudbury Cara Capitals midget hockey club receives automatic 
entry into the tournament as host team. 

Great Northern Roller Hockey League 

Registrations are now being accepted for Roller Hockey . All ages and 
skill levels are welcome. For more information please call 688-9665 or pick 
up your registration form today at Play it Again Sports in die Lasalle Court 
Mall. 

1997 OUAA Basketball Championships 

Bodi die OUAA East and West conference fmals will be Saturday 
March 8, at Varsity Arena in Toronto. The two conference champions 
automatically advance to die CIAU finals in Halifax. Following the cham- 
pionships, a Wild Card game between the two conference runner-ups will be 
played, with the winner having a very good chance at being chosen as a third 
Ontario team to go to the Nationals. 



Demandes de logement a la REM 
presentement disponible 

(Residence des §tudiants marines et adultes) 



La residence des etudiants maries et adultes (REM) compte des appartements meubles et non meubles 
qui possede chacun une chambre a coucher. 

Le loycr comprcnd rclccliicitc, Ic cliaufTagc ct Peau, ct Ic service dc tclcdistribulion. 

Un nombre liniite d'appartemcnt sont ofTerts aux etudiants de 4e annce qui desirent partager un 
appartement tncublc avec un autre etudiant. Ces appartements comprennent un lit, un bureau, unc 
lampe de bureau et une cliaise par personne. 

Les etages superieurs sont ofTerts aux etudiants maries et a leur conjoint ou colocataire, ainsi qu'aux 
etudiantes adultes (24 ans et plus) et aux personnes poursuivant des etudes superieures. Ces 
appartements ne sont pas meubles. 

Les demandes de logement a la REM sont disponibles au: 

bureau du Directeur des services 

Residence des etudiants celibataires 

rue des etudiants, salle Gl 1 

(705)675-1151 poste3005 
a I'attention de: Ginette 

A noter ; la REM est une zone de tranquillite. Cette regie s'applique 24 heures par jour, sept jours 
par semaine. La residence est interdite a tous les animaux. 



Volume 35 • Issue 19 / Num6ro 19* LAMBDA 



Thursday, February 27 , 1997/le jeudi 27 fevrier 1997 



smum 



Hockey Vees Finish Sea- 
son on Positive Note; 
Face Precarious Future 



by Steven Proceviat 

Staff Writer 

The Hockey Vees finished their regular season in fine style over the 
weekend, flying high in decisive victories over the Ryerson Rams and the 
Brock Badgers. 

Sunday's 6-2 pounding of Brock, coming after a 9-0 whitewash of 
Ryerson on Saturday, saw the Vees finally enjoy the fruits of their labors by 
managing to avoid ending their season at the dreaded .500 mark that had for 
so long been nipping at their heels. 

Kevin MacKay was Saturday's top sniper, notching a hat-trick 
against the Rams. Cory Evans chipped in two goals of his own, while singles 
went to Pat Armatage, Bryan Ladyk, Kiley Hill and Greg Sutherland. Goalie 
Chris McCarthy fended off the Ryerson attack, such as it was, to record the 
shutout. 

On Sunday, Brad Babcr led the way against the Badgers with two 
goals. Rounding out the scoring for the Vees were Gary Roach, Jeff Paquette, 
Hilland Ladyk. 

The Vees' second season, the playoffs, commences on Wednesday at 
the Sudbury Arena where they w ill face Brock to the sidelines. However, all 
too often over the course of the season have moderate successes bred Vees' 
complacency. Looking beyond the seemingly unthreatening Badgers could 
prove very detrimental to any plans the Vees have of enjoying a lengthy 
playoff run. They must play this game as though it will be their last. If they 
don't, it very well may be. 



Lady Vees score 

convincing win 

over the Rouge et Or 

by Remi Gunn 

Sta/f Writer 

The Lady Vees took on die Laval Rouge et Or on Sunday February 
9 at the Ben Avery Gym. After getting off to a slow start, the Lady Vees came 
through in the second half, securing a 74-54 victory over the Rouge et Or. 

The Vees were solid, but unexceptional in die first half Maintaining 
a small lead diroughout the half, the Lady Vees were able to hold the Rouge 
et Oral bay . They did this in spite of the fact that they were missing key starter 
Joy McNichol, who is out indefinitely due to a recurring shoulder injury. She 
did, however, provide moral support from the bench. At the end of the half, 
the Lady Vees went into the locker room with a 6 point lead. 

The Vees came alive in the second half, easily pushing the lead to 
around 10 points. Sophomore Vee Stephanie Harrison showed some great 
offensive prowress, digging in and dominating the play under the net. 
Midway through the half, the Lady Vees offense took control, pushing the 
lead to 16 points. Their formidable defense kept the Rouge et Or at bay. In 
the end, the Vees pulled it all together and tidily defeated Laval by 20points. 

The Molson's Player of the Game for the Vees was rookie guard 
Shauna Conway. 




Vee Line 



Basketball 

Lady Vees Lose to McGill 



In the first game of a Montreal road trip, the Lady Vees were defeated by the McGill 
Martlets 73-46. Laurentian fought a hard battle throughout the whole game. In the first half, McGill 
outscored the Vees by four points with a score of 30-26. The top scorers for the Vees were 
Stephanie Harrison and Karen Vos with 10 points apiece. 
Voyageurs Defeat the Redmen 

On Friday February 1 4, 1 997, the Voyageurs broke a lot of hearts when they defeated the 
McGill Redmen 79-49. In the first 12 minutes of the game, the Voyageurs lost their 6*0" All- 
Canadian guard Cory Bailey due to a minor knee injury. He returned for Sunday's game against 
Concordia. The top scorers for the Voyageurs were Shawn Swords with 24 points and 7 rebounds 
and Jason Hurley with 1 4. Shawn was also named player of the game. 
Lady Vees Lose to Stingers 

In their second game of the weekend, the Lady Vees were defeated 60-55 by Concordia 
University. Laurentian battled to the buzzer, but came up short in the end. The top scorers for the 
Lady Vees were Stephanie Desutter scoring 18 points and Shelley Dewar with 9 points. 
Voyageurs Streak Continues 

The men's basketball team extended their perfect league record to 16-0 with a 95-85 win 
at Concordia. Shawn Swords led the Voyageurs with 29 points and 12 rebounds. Cory Bailey 
added twenty points to the cause. 
Lady Vees back on Track 

The Lady Vees rediscovered their winning ways on a road trip to Kingston. Despite trailing 
40-32 at the half, Laurentian improved their record to 11-6 by way of a 74-66 win. Stephanie 
Desutter led the way for the Lady Vees with 15 points, while Katie Malone and Stephanie 
Harrison both added 1 1 points. Molson Player of the Game for the Lady Vees was Karen Vos 
with 10 points and 4 rebounds. 
Voyageurs Still Perfect 

The Voyageurs increased their perfect league record to 1 7-0 through an 83-64 win over the 
Golden Gaels. Laurentian was led by All-Canadian Cory Bailey who scored 25 points and 9 
boards while Roan Biggs added 1 5 points and 9 boards. Shawn Swords played only two minutes 
as he left the game with an ankle injury. 
U. of T. Defeats Lady Vees 

The Lady Vees dropped an 80-64 decision to the U. of T. Blues last Saturday afternoon in 
Toronto. The Lady Vees trailed 46-34 at die half but could not close die gap in the second half. 
Stephanie Harrison led the Lady Vees with 20 points and 9 rebounds, Karen Vos added 9 points 
and 7 boards. The team now sports a record of 11-7. The Lady Vees return home to host Ryerson 
and York next Friday and Sunday Respectively. 
Vees lose First Game of the Season 

The Laurentian Voyageurs men's basketball team lost dieir first game of the OUAA regular 
season to the University of Toronto Varsity Blues. The score was 80-55. Anthony Malcolm and 
Kevin Gordon were die Voyageurs leading scorers widi 10 points each. Cory Bailey was the 
Molson Adilete of the Game for the Vees with 9 points and 5 rebounds. Widi the loss, die Vees 
record now stands at 17-1 in regular season play. 
Hockey 
Voyageurs lose two on the road 

The Laurentian Voyageurs hockey team lost both road games this weekend. On Friday 
February 7th the Voyageurs lost to the Windsor Lancers by a score of 6-4. Kevin Mackay 
continued his climb up on the OUAA scoring race widi 4 points. Brad Baber had 3 points in the 
game. Vees' scorers were Cory Evans and Mackay widi one and Baber widi two. 

On Saturday February 8th, die Vees travelled to London to play the Western Mustangs. 
Although the Vees outshot Western 33-20, they came up short with a 3-2 loss, Jeremy Rebek and 
Kiley Hill scored for die Voyageurs. Brad Baber and Pat Armitage each had two assists. The 
two losses put the Vees record at 1 1-1 L 
Voyageurs Top Waterloo 5-3 

On Friday February 14th, the Vees travelled to Waterioo to defeat the Warriors by a score 
of 5-3 . The win puts die Vees ' record at 1 2- 1 1 . Scoring for Laurentian was Kiley Hill, Cory Evans, 
Pat Armatage, Kevin Mackay and Bryan Ladyk. 
Voyageurs Drop Close Game 

On February 15th, the Laurentian Voyageurs hockey team continued their road trip with 
a 3- 1 loss to Wilfrid Laurier. Cory Evans scored die Vees' only goal. The loss puts Laurentian's 
record at 12-12. 
McCarthy shuts out Ryerson 

On Saturday February 22nd, die Laurentian Voyageurs beat the Ryerson Rams by a score 
of 9-0. Chris McCarthy recorded his first shutout of die season. Gary Roach led the Vees' attack 
widi 4 points. Laurentian's goal scorers were Kevin Mackay with a hat trick, Cory Evans with 
2 and Pat Armatage, Greg Sutherland, Bryan Ladyk and Kiley Hill widi one. Laurentians 
defense had a strong offensive performance. Besides Roach, Dave Graff also had 4 assists and 
Jeremy Rebek collected 3 assists. 
Vees beat Brock 6-2 

On Sunday February 23rd, the Voyageurs concluded dieir OUAA regular season widi a 6- 
2 victory over Brock. The Vees finish second in die Mid West Division with a record of 14-12. 
Brad Baber led Laurentian with two goals and an assist. Other scorers for the Voyageurs were 
Gary Roach, Kiley Hill, Bryan Ladyk and Jeff Paquette. Dave Graff continued his strong 
offensive play with two assists. Laurentian begins its playoff drive with a one game playoff series 
with Brtxk. The game is this Wednesday February 26th at 7:00 pm in the Sudbury Arena. 
Track and Field 

The Ontario Track and Field Association Championships were held at York University this 
weekend. Shane Rosatti contmued his solid season as he finished second in the long jump with 
a jump of 6.73m. Rosatti was also eighth in die 200m widi a time of 22.99 seconds. John 
Thompson finished thirteenth in the 800m with a time of 2:01 .57. 



LAMBDA • Volume 35 Issue 19 / Num^ro 19 



c 



S^O^K^XS 



Aqua Vees host OUAA 
Championships 

by Erik White 

ConitibiUor 

From February 14 to February 16, fifteen teams from across the 
province gathered at Laurentian's Olympic Gold Pool to battle for swimming 
supremacy. Thanks to great personal efforts by all the Vees, Laurentian 
finished fourth in the overall standings. They finished behind Guelph (3'rd), 
Toronto (2'nd) and the McMaster Marauders, who won their fifth consecu- 
tive OUAA championships and enjoyed a celebratory' swim afterwards, 
along with several members of Laurentian *s team. This ties the Vees highest 
standing ever at the OUAA Championships. 

This year's meet was the debut for three new events, the 50m 
butterfly, 50m backstroke and 50m breaststroke, at which Voyageur swim- 
mers excelled. 

As their banner, and the Vees themselves proclaimed, they weren't 
going to let it happen in their "house", and Jamie Bretzlaff s team did not 
disappoint. 

- Third year Voyageur Brad Johnson lead the way with three gold 
medals in the 100m freestyle, 50m freestyle and 100m butterfly, along with 
a silver in the 50m butterfly. On account of this fantastic performance. Brad 
was named ''Swimmer of the Meet", and his teammates declared, with their 
enthusiastic cheers, the pool to be "Brad's House". 

Other Laurentian swimmers had strong showings as well. This 
included freshman Vee Fai Yong, who captured a silver in the 100m buttertly 
and a bronze in the 50m butterfly. Dave Clarke won two bronze medals in the 
200m and 50m backstroke events and lone bronze medals were taken home 
by Jason Wicke and Bill Dewland in the 200m butterfly and 400m individual 
medley respectively. 

For the finals on Sunday, a moderate crowd turned out to support the 
host Aqua Vees, but their cheers were deafened by the energetic and some 
times rowdy shouts of the participants, punctuated by occasional air horn 
blasts. The swimmers were especially loud during the showcase 4 x 1 00m 
freestyle relay final. 

OUAA coach of the year honours were awarded to Al Fairweather of 
the 3rd place Guelph Gryphons, who was subsequently shown what the water 
was like when his swimmers dumped him into the pool. 

The next swimming action for the Vees takes place next weekend 
(Feb. 28-Mar. 2) when Bill Dewland, Dave Clarke, John Howard, Brad 
Johnson, Jason Wicke and Fai Yong will be heading to Brock for the CIAU 
Championships. 

Vees Destroy Gaiters 

by Julie Dion 

St^ Writer 

The Lady Vees faced the Bishop's Gaiters on Friday night (Feb. 7) in 
the Ben Avery Gym. Joy McNichol was back in action for the first time after 
reinjuring her shoulder a couple of weeks ago. McNichol was sporting a 
brace on her shoulder, but was playing well. The first half was tight as 
Laurentian struggled to establish momentum. Towards the end of the half, 
however, die Lady Vees pulled it together and took control of the game. At 
half time the score was 35 - 25. 

During the second half Laurentian continued to dominate despite 
Bishop's' aggressive and physical style. With less than five minutes left in 
the game disaster struck, as Joy McNichol dislocated her shoulder once 
again. The Vees carried on to win the game 49 - 39 as McNichol was taken 
to hospital. 

Katie Malone expressed her disappointment at McNichol's reinjury. 
"We were excited to be playing with Joy again." Malone also admitted that 
the Lady Vees are "struggling with momentum right now." 

Coach ^hirlene McLean agrees with Malone's assessment. *'It's the 
same old thing," McLean said, **we're inconsistent. We play good basketball 
in spurts." 

High scorer for Friday night's game was Shelley Dewar with 1 1 
points, followed by Katie Malone with 9. The Lady Vees are currently ranked 
sixth in the nation and their record is 9 - 4. 

The men's basketball team also took on Bishop's on Friday night. The 
stands were packed with enthusiastic fans as the Voyageurs dominated the 
first half. It wasn't all good, however, as some of Laurentian's best players, 
however, were missing easy shots. In spite of this, Adam Dusome and Jason 
Hurley were right on target, especially when it came to three-pointers. 

During the second half, Laurentian let down the intensity and allowed 
Bishop's to get back in the game. With a little more than a minute left. 
Bishop's was within four points of I^aurentian (73 - 69). Due to flawless 
shooting from the free throw line by rookie Vee Ted Dongelmans and 
Dusome in the last minute of the game, Laurentian held Bishop's off with a 
final score of 77 - 69. Dusome was high scorer of the game with 1 9 points and 
Hudey followed with 16. 

Coach Peter Campbell felt that "at moments we played well. At other 
moments we were brain dead. For long periods of time we played stupid 
basketball. At these moments we allowed Bishop's to get into the game." 
Campbell gave credit to Bishop's saying that, "they're a good team." He also 
acknowledged that some of Laurentian 's best players were missing shots. 

Laurentian's mens' team is currently ranked second in the nation. 
Jason Huriey pointed out that, *'we certainly didn't play like that tonight." 
Huriey attributes their success (they're now a perfect 13-0) to "really good 
players." Huriey mentioned Cory Bailey, who was an all-Canadian last year, 
and Shawn Swords who is one of the top 1 5 players in Canada. Huriey also 
added that the team has "really good outside players and the point guards are 
good defensively." 



Thursday, February 27, 1997 /le jeudi 27 fevrier 1997 

OUAA/OWIAA Ski Championships! 

by Bronwen Davies/staff Writer 

Diane Carisson, a masters student in the LU biology department, claimed two medals at the OUAA/OWIAA 
nordic ski championships this past weekend (Feb. 22 and 23). The Vees all remained in Sudbury over the Spring 
Break to train and rest for the championships. They left on Friday for their "voyage" to North Bay. The regular 1 .5 
hour drive took a full 3 hours as northern Ontario got a 30 cm dump of snow. 

It was still snowy and cold on Saturday morning when the men took on the field of 65 competitors. The races 
were delayed by a half hour so that the course could be packed and groomed (not that it did lot of good!) In their 
1 km race, Tim Heale of Sudbury placed fourth in a time of 33: 1 5. James Ans, a fourth year phys. ed. student, was 
not far behind in sixth (33:50). Rookie Kristian Bischoff was 27th with a time of 38:20. Ben Stevenson, a third year 
english major, was 35th. 

When the men were all finished, it was time for the women to show their stuff. Diane Carisson bauled her 
way to a third place finish and a bronze medal, her first medal for the day. Carisson finished the 5km event in 20: 1 2. 
Next for the Vees, Laura Hubbard, a 3rd year geology student placed 10th. Just seconds behind was Carol Cox in 
1 1th place. Bronwen Davies placed a disappointing 12th while rookie Megan Cumming was 33rd. 

After only a few hours' rest, the Vees competed in the skating relays. The men skied a 3X7km event with 
veteran Jamie Ans out first. Ans brought die LU team in first as he tagged off to Kristian Bischoff. Bischoff skied 
a good race before tagging off to the anchor, Tim Heale. The team finished 5th, same as the previous year. 

The women were led by Carol Cox, who finished the 3.5km course in 2nd position. Cox tagged off to Laura 
Hubbard, who maintained the women's position and gained 1 seconds on Lakehead. She then tagged off to anchor 
Diane Carisson. Carisson brought the team in for her second medal of the day, a silver. 

Sunday's temperatures plummeted to a balmy -23°C. The races were delayed an hour while the skiers waited 
for the mercury to reach -20°C. The women were out first for the 8,3km classic race. Carisson again led the women's 
team, placing 7 'th. Davies raced better, placing 8th. Laura Hubbard finished in 1 3th. Carol Cox took 20th and Megan 
Cumming was 24th. 

The men skied 16.6km and were led by James Ans, who placed 6th in a time of 51:50. Ben Stevenson had 
an amazing race, ending up in 1 1 th position (52:50). Tim Heale had a disappointing day, placing 30th, while Kristian 
Bischoff finished 43rd. 

The women's 
team was 2nd overall 
in the event, only a few 
points behind 

Lakehead. The men re- 
mained in their 5th 
place position. First for 
the men was taken by 
the University of Wa- 
terloo. Bodi the men 
and the women had a 
great weekend, capping 
off an exciting season. 

The team would 
like to thank all those 
people who travelled 
up to cheer them on. It 
was fun to have specta- 
tors! Also, thanks to our 
coaches, Dave Battison 
and Shirley Pommier, 
for all your great sup- 
port! Congratulations 
to everyone on a great 
season! 



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March 12-14, 19-21 

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Volume 35*lssue19/Num6ro ^9^ LAMBDA 



Thursday, February 27 , 1997/ le jeudi 27 fevrier 1997 



DON'T MISS 

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IN SCIENCE CAFETERIA 



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MLAMBDA • Volume 35 Issue 19/ Num^ro 19